Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

A few individuals believe that the primary schools focus majority of the time on formal learning. From my perspective, I partially agree with this statement because, although it is advantageous in terms of learning ethically and exploring various options in the coming future, it has certain drawbacks which are not to be overlooked.

On the one hand, formal learnings educate students in terms of social developments. For instance, primary schools majorly focus majorly on lecturing ongoing trends of technological events, which helps the students to innovate and gain vision about the developments of existing technology. Furthermore, training an individual student formally allows the student to explore and research various topics or domains in which they might be interested to specialize in their future.

On the other hand, allowing children to spend time playing during their primary schools allows them to maintain an open mind. For example, usually most of the children play in groups which results in having variety of opinions during their play. It helps the child to explore all the ideas and keep an open mind to accept different opinions from different children. Moreover, playing for a certain period of time everyday helps the children with healthy brain cognitive fuctioning. Epitome, a physical activity engages all the senses of the child which distracts and refreshes the mood and stress from the school.

To conclude with, focusing only on the formal education helps children with various benefits like learning ethically, learning social developments, exploring idealogy and specialize in various interests. It also follows the risk of not having an open mind, not being able to mingle with a group of people. In my opinion, it is suggested to have a balanced approach and maintain the situation with both of the activities in moderation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your response addresses both questions and gives a clear, balanced position: you partially agree that formal learning can dominate, while concluding that classroom time should include both learning and play. You provide relevant reasons, including children exploring subjects and developing an open mind through group play. This meets the task well, and the examples show some development. However, the discussion of formal learning is less convincing because “lecturing ongoing trends of technological events” is a narrow, unclear example of what primary-school learning offers. The benefits of play are explained more fully, but the conclusion lists ideas such as “learning ethically” without clarifying them. Develop each main point with a more specific classroom example and explain how it supports your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” make the shift between formal learning and play easy to follow, and the final paragraph restates your balanced view. This gives the response a coherent progression. Some connections, however, feel mechanical or unclear. The opening of the first body paragraph says formal learning supports “social developments,” but the example about technology does not clearly connect to that claim. In the conclusion, “It also follows the risk” makes the relationship between the benefits and drawbacks difficult to understand. Use more precise links between each claim and its explanation, and ensure pronouns such as “It” have an unmistakable reference.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “specialize,” “opinions,” and “cognitive functioning.” There are also attempts to use less common expressions, such as “maintain an open mind” and “moderation.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “formal learnings” is not the usual form, “lecturing ongoing trends” is an awkward collocation, and “Epitome” does not introduce the example that follows. “Learning ethically” and “exploring idealogy” are also unclear in context. Aim for natural, specific phrases rather than elevated wording that does not fit the meaning, and check spelling and word forms, including “functioning” and “ideology.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction (“although it is advantageous…”) and a relative clause in “which results in having variety of opinions.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the overall argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, however. In the opening, “the primary schools focus majority of the time” needs an article and a more complete phrase, while “everyday” should be “every day” in the time expression. There are also problems with articles and number, as in “having variety of opinions,” and the final sentence, “It also follows the risk,” is structurally unclear. Review article use, singular and plural forms, and sentence construction, then proofread for punctuation and phrasing.

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