Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that primary schools have a more formal learning approach than it should have. I agree with this argument and also believe that it is very important for children to play in primary school classroom. This essay will examine traditional teaching methodologies and cognitive development as potential reasons.

School system was introduced in the past century, but it has failed to progress from traditional teaching methodologies . In most parts of the world, primary schools are still relying on the outdated methods to teach young students. Most of the primary schools believe that a 5 year child has to carry a bag full of books to the school and spend the whole day just taking classes. The average time a primary school student spends in school is 8 hours. Moreover, schools also give homework to young children, which takes most of their time in homes as well. These practices are particularly more followed by primary schools in South Asia. Therefore, it is true that primary schools sole focus is on formal learning.

Many experts on children's mental health have argued that it is equally important for a child's cognitive development that he plays as well as learn in primary school. The best learning for young children are when formal education is integrated with playful activities. Many researches have shown that cognitive development is multi faceted. If a young mind is forced into a monotonus routine, his cognitive development won't be at full capacity. So it is very much important for children to engage in playful and fun activities in primary school classroom.

In conclusion, due to the traditonal teaching methodologies that primary schools rely on the focus is on formal learning. For cognitive development, I firmly believe it is essential for children to play and learn in the primary school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that primary schools overemphasise formal learning and consider play important. You address both questions, and the examples of long school days, homework and book-heavy routines support your view. The explanation that play contributes to cognitive development also gives the essay a relevant second line of reasoning. However, the two points are not developed equally: the first paragraph makes broad claims about schools, especially in South Asia, without a specific example or explanation of how these practices affect children. The discussion of play is also brief. To strengthen the response, explain a concrete classroom activity and how it supports learning, while qualifying generalisations about school systems.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. The progression from formal teaching practices to the value of play is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Therefore,” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships. This coherent arrangement is a strength. At times, however, the connections feel mechanical, and the opening of the first body paragraph does not clearly connect the history of the school system to the specific claim about current primary schools. The essay would progress more smoothly if each paragraph began with a focused topic sentence and then developed one main idea through explanation and an example. Clarify references such as “these practices” by naming the practices directly.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “traditional teaching methodologies,” “outdated methods,” “cognitive development,” and “playful activities.” These choices communicate the main ideas clearly, and some topic-specific language adds precision. However, there are several inaccurate or awkward choices that limit flexibility and naturalness: “more formal learning approach than it should have,” “the best learning,” and “more followed” are not idiomatic in context. Spelling errors such as “monotonus” and “traditonal” also reduce accuracy. Aim to use collocations that describe educational practice naturally, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary for types of play or learning would also help you explain your argument with greater detail.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “which takes most of their time” and “If a young mind is forced into a monotonus routine.” Most sentences remain understandable, and your meaning is generally clear. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with articles, agreement and verb forms. For example, “School system was introduced” needs an article, while “a 5 year child” and “the best learning … are” show problems with noun phrasing and subject–verb agreement. In “it is equally important … that he plays as well as learn,” the verb forms are not parallel. Review these patterns and vary sentence structures while checking agreement and articles; this would improve accuracy without sacrificing complexity.

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