Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The most common topic among people for arguement nowadays is that some primary schools mainly place excessive emphasis on academic achievement. Children need a balanced combination structured education and play to be more productive. For my opinion, I partly agree on the basis of some reasons that formal learning can be execussive.

To begin with the first reason for my disagreement which is that academic pressure cause stress. Teachers give excessive homework and pressurise them for gaining good marks in class tests and exams which mainly leads students to be anxious. This thing make students to loose motivation and develop a negative thinking towards education. Another main reason is that it limits creativity and practical skills. Children who spent most of their time memorising facts have fewer opportunities to explore and experiment.

Secondly, play is equally important because it develops social skills. Teams games teach children cooperation, communication, patience and conflict resolutions. These skills are difficult to develop through textbooks alone. Moreover, play supports cognitive development, for instance puzzels, building blocks and also it develop problem solving abilities and creativity. In addition, physical activity can also help children to return to lesson felling refreshed and more attentive. Also play promotes physical and mental well being. Outdoor play helps children remain physically active and it reduce stress and provide the opportunity to release excess energy.

In conclusion, although academic subjects remain fundamental to children's education. However, schools should integrate structured play into the curriculum rather then priortising only eximinations and written work exclusively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your response addresses both questions and maintains a clear, qualified position: you partly agree that formal learning can be excessive, while arguing that play should also be included. The reasons are relevant and extended with examples, such as homework and exam pressure causing anxiety, and team games developing cooperation and communication. You also explain cognitive and physical benefits of play. This range of support fits the descriptor for a response that addresses all parts and develops its ideas. To strengthen the argument further, clarify the extent of your agreement: the opening says “partly agree,” but the body mainly presents reasons against excessive academic pressure and in favour of play, without explaining when formal learning is appropriate. A more specific classroom example would also make the support less general.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas progress from concerns about academic pressure to the benefits of play. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “Secondly,” and “In addition” help readers follow the argument. This is a coherent overall arrangement, and the paragraphing is appropriate. However, some connections feel mechanical or unclear. “To begin with the first reason for my disagreement” is awkward, particularly because the paragraph supports the view that formal learning can be excessive. The conclusion’s “although … However” repeats the contrast, and the final sentence could connect more directly to the stated position. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each reason and your opinion explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “academic pressure,” “memorising facts,” “cognitive development,” “problem solving,” and “physical activity.” These choices help communicate relevant ideas, and some less common terms are attempted. At times, however, inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling reduce precision: “formal learning can be execussive” appears to mean “excessive,” while “Teams games” and “conflict resolutions” are not natural forms in this context. There are also spelling errors such as “puzzels,” “felling,” and “priortising.” These do not prevent understanding, but proofreading and learning vocabulary in common combinations would improve control. Aim for precise expressions such as “academic demands” and “team games,” rather than relying on broad or awkward phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “Children who spent most of their time memorising facts…” and a reason introduced by “because.” The main ideas remain understandable, but grammatical control is uneven, with errors in agreement, verb forms, sentence construction and punctuation. For example, “academic pressure cause stress” needs subject–verb agreement, and “This thing make students to loose motivation” has errors in both the verb form and the construction after “make.” The opening phrase “a balanced combination structured education and play” is missing a grammatical link. The conclusion also joins “although” and “However” in a faulty contrast structure. Practise accurate clause patterns and check each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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