Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Now a days many school has a primary focus is on giving formal education to student only. It is also important to shift focus to extracurricular activities because it help to keep student healthy. Playing and exercising is veey good for human health including mental health. Most of the student who is actively showing interest only on their studies feel stressed, due to their mind fatigue. In order to keep student healthy their mind should be shift and teacher should encourage students to participate in playful activities.

when i was a student i did not like to participate in sports or play but when my friend try to convinced me to play . I took participate and what i felt after the play was that my mind feels relaxed and Also felt myself happy. May be its hormone release which made me happy. So this is a example in order to gain happiness or keep your mind fresh students should participate in playful activities.

Playing is very helpful when you are in stress. In school life students are stressed.They sometime feels uneasy because of the exam or sometime for quiz. In time of stress our body release cortisol a stress hormone. This cause symptoms of stress. To reduce stress hormone from our body , the best remedy is exercising or playing in case of student studying in school.

I was not playful in my childhood because i had less knowledge about the body of human. Now i will recommend playing or exercising to every student.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear general position that children should play as well as study, and you give relevant reasons: play can support physical and mental health and help reduce stress. The personal example about joining a game and feeling happier also helps illustrate your view. However, the response only partly addresses the question because it focuses mainly on the benefits of play and does not explain in enough detail whether primary schools currently place too much emphasis on formal learning. The final paragraph repeats your recommendation rather than developing a further reason or example. To strengthen the response, state your degree of agreement directly in the introduction, then explain how classroom time should be balanced between formal lessons and play, with specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a basic paragraph structure: it introduces the issue, gives a personal example, explains stress, and ends with a recommendation. This makes the main topic understandable. However, the overall progression is limited because the second and third paragraphs repeat the idea that play improves mood and reduces stress, while the conclusion adds little beyond the earlier points. Connections between ideas are sometimes unclear; for example, the move from your personal experience to the claim about hormones is abrupt. Some linking words, such as “So” and “In order to,” help, but links between the main argument and the question about formal learning are missing. Organise the body around distinct reasons and use clearer transitions to show how each supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant set of words for the topic, including “extracurricular activities,” “mental health,” “stressed,” and “cortisol.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both wellbeing and learning. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, particularly “playing,” “student,” and “stress.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “took participate,” “mind fatigue,” and “body release cortisol,” which can make the meaning less natural. Spelling and form errors, including “veey” and “Now a days,” are also noticeable. Build a wider range of precise expressions for classroom learning and play, and check common collocations and spelling when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “Most of the student who is actively showing interest only on their studies feel stressed.” This shows an effort to express cause and explanation, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the reader pause. There are frequent problems with subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals, and verb forms: “many school has,” “it help,” and “my friend try to convinced me” are examples. Sentence boundaries and capitalisation are also unreliable, as in “students are stressed.They sometime feels uneasy.” Most sentences rely on simple patterns, and the more complex attempts are often faulty. Practise accurate basic sentence structures first, then add subordinate clauses while checking agreement, tense, and punctuation.

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