Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, some individual agrue that primary schools are focus to much on formal learning.I think its right and i am agree with this statement.

As we all see the student to go schools for learning many different types of things, but due to overload stress thats create problmes to the children by which they ignore their studies.Because most of the schools gives homework and read chapters but they do not clear the ideas and reasons. For example: Most of the students to do not the basic things so they feels not good and do not understand the learning by focus on formal learning childern should know all the basic points and catch easliy things and get alot of knowlegde about culture and also knowns skills.

Moreover, it is very important to play the children as well as learning in primary schools. Because some of the student are well

preformed in games which bright their future, and they do alot of things in their life. Secondly, childern feel fresh and active when they play students have aslo freedom to play in ground and do pratical skills by which they achieve their goals. Furthermore, due to this play as well as learning in primary institute is the good and well develop ideas and get alot of knowlegde about sports, culture, and general studies due to that most of the childern to quiz and take 1st position in the state.

According to my own knowlegde experience play as well as primary learning is very most improtant to prove that both are equal due to this both things childern ch achieve any thing in their life according to skills and learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear general position in the opening, agreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you address both the pressure of schoolwork and the value of play. The points about children feeling fresh and active, developing practical skills, and succeeding in games are relevant. However, the reasons are often difficult to follow or insufficiently explained. For instance, the claim that schools assign homework but “do not clear the ideas and reasons” is not developed into a clear explanation of how this supports your view. The conclusion says play and learning are equally important, but this balance is not fully established in the body. Explain fewer points more clearly and add a specific example to support them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly separate concerns about formal learning from the benefits of play. You also use signposts such as “Moreover,” “Secondly” and “Furthermore.” However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: several claims are joined together without showing how one leads to the next, as in the long sentence beginning “Furthermore, due to this play as well as learning…”. Some linking words are used mechanically, and “Because” begins a sentence that does not connect smoothly to the previous idea. References such as “this” and “both things” are also vague. Use shorter, clearly connected sentences and make each paragraph develop one main point in a logical order.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “practical skills,” “culture,” “general studies” and “achieve their goals.” This shows some ability to discuss education and children’s development. However, the range is limited and many word choices, collocations and spellings are inaccurate or repetitive, sometimes making the intended meaning hard to understand. Examples include “overload stress,” “bright their future,” “well preformed” and repeated use of “alot of knowlegde.” These errors affect clarity, particularly when several are combined in one sentence. Build a reliable set of education-related phrases and check spelling and word forms; choose precise expressions rather than repeating broad terms such as “things” and “good.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, for example, “Moreover, it is very important to play the children as well as learning in primary schools.” However, control of sentence structure is weak, and attempts to combine several ideas often produce faulty or incomplete sentences. Errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries occur frequently, as in “primary schools are focus,” “most of the schools gives homework,” and “when they play students have aslo freedom.” These patterns can make the reader work to identify the intended meaning. Practise accurate basic sentence forms first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and use punctuation to separate complete ideas.

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