Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is argued that elementary schools should focus mostly on formal learning. I totally disagree with this statement because it will only make them disinterested to learn, and I think that integrating play into schools' curriculum is very essential to help children grasp information easily.

One of the main reasons why I do not subscribe with the opinion of focusing too much on formal way of learning is that learners are not interested because they find lessons very boring. They will treat studying as stressful endeavours and not as enjoyable activities. As a result, they do not participate well in class that can lead to having lower marks. For example, if teachers are only focus on applying traditional methodologies, students will not easily understand each lesson effectively because they do not feel that topics are exciting and they do not give too much attention.

Incorporating play-based method in pedagogy is vital to successfully instill knowledge in students. Students do not feel pressured or stressed while learning mathematics, science, and english subjects because they are just having fun while unconciously learning. If students are interested, motivated, and attentive in class, students will participate, and can get excellent marks in exams. For instance, in the Philippines, it is already included in steachers' syllabus to integrate play to boost students' motivation.

In conclusion, the formal way of learning will only make students less motivated to learn. Nevertheless, the incorportation of play in schools' curricula is crucial to foster an enjoyable and remarkable learning experience to learners.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools should concentrate on formal learning, and you address both the effects of formal lessons and the value of play. The explanation that play can reduce pressure and help children learn subjects such as mathematics and science is relevant, and the classroom participation example supports your view. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that traditional methods lead to lower marks would be stronger with a clearer link or a specific classroom example. The reference to the Philippines is also brief and does not explain how this practice works. More developed evidence and a fuller account of how play supports learning would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons, and a conclusion restates the position. Ideas generally progress from the drawbacks of formal-only teaching to the benefits of play. Linking phrases such as “As a result,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. At times, however, connections are mechanical or the reference is unclear. In “they do not participate well in class that can lead to having lower marks,” it is not immediately clear what “that” refers to. The repeated use of “students” in the second body paragraph also makes the flow less smooth. Use clearer referencing and vary transitions while keeping each paragraph focused on one developed point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “play-based method,” “motivation,” and “curriculum.” Some attempts at more academic phrasing show ambition, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “subscribe with the opinion,” “stressful endeavours,” and “instill knowledge.” Spelling errors in “unconsciously,” “teachers’,” and “incorporation” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim for familiar, accurate collocations rather than more elaborate wording, and proofread spelling. For example, describe children as “becoming disengaged” and say that play “reinforces learning” or “helps children retain information.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a conditional example beginning “if.” Meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. In “teachers are only focus,” the verb form should be “teachers only focus” or “teachers are only focusing.” “Students will participate, and can get excellent marks” needs a parallel structure, such as “will participate and can achieve excellent marks.” The sentence beginning “They will treat studying…” also shifts awkwardly between singular “studying” and plural “activities.” Review verb forms, agreement, and parallel constructions, and check punctuation around linked clauses. Greater control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to follow.

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