Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Although some parents put emphasis on formal learning in primary schools, others, however, argue that playing is also important as it relaxes the mind and enhances the focus on studies. I strongly believe that both playing amd learning are equally important in a student's life.

Technical education makes the base of a student in primary years of education as these are the basic subjects to learn. Additionally, children learn better and have better tendency to absorb knowledge in this age. For instance, science and technology is the basis of every aspect in life today and children must learn these foe better understanding of the future problems and solutions related to these. But only focusing on studies causes tress and birden on a child's mind.

Playing and taking part in extra curricular activities is extremely beneficial in terms of healthy brain and physical development. It helps the child to relax a bit and indulge in healthy activities other than studying so they can focus better when they return to study. For example, a study from Harvard university explains how children who were given 10 min breaks after every 40 minute lecture performed better and had better grades and attention level than those who were not given ample amount of breaks between studies, which clearly indicates the importance of incorporating realxation breaks and play time between studies.

In conclusion, although technical education is extremely beneficial and compulsory for a student, playing and taking part in extra curricular activities is equally important. Parents and teachers should check that both the things are done in moderation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you believe formal learning and play are equally important, and you address both questions by discussing the value of foundational subjects and the benefits of breaks and activities. The example about children performing better after short breaks supports your view, while the conclusion gives a relevant recommendation for balance. However, the response focuses mainly on the benefits of learning and play rather than directly evaluating whether primary schools currently place too much emphasis on formal learning. The point about “technical education” is also not fully explained, and the example about science and technology is broad. Develop these ideas with a clearer link to classroom practice and explain more explicitly how much you agree with the claim.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on formal learning and play, and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking expressions such as “Additionally,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. The contrast in the opening is also relevant to the discussion. At times, however, connections feel mechanical or unclear. “Although” and “however” are used together in the same opening sentence, creating an awkward contrast, and the long sentence beginning “For example, a study from Harvard university” carries several points without a clear break. Improve cohesion by using transitions more selectively, making references such as “both the things” precise, and dividing long explanations into clearer sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “absorb knowledge,” “physical development,” and “incorporating … play time.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or imprecise, such as “makes the base of a student,” “healthy brain,” and “ample amount of breaks.” There are also spelling errors, including “amd,” “foe,” “tress,” “birden,” and “realxation,” which reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and proofread carefully; precise expressions will make your argument sound more fluent and convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses with “although,” “as,” and “so,” and most of your meaning remains clear. The sentence explaining that play helps children relax and then focus again shows an attempt to express a cause-and-effect relationship. Some grammatical errors remain, however. In “science and technology is,” the compound subject requires a plural verb; “children must learn these foe better understanding” also needs a clearer grammatical construction, such as “learn these subjects to better understand.” The opening combines “Although” with “however” awkwardly, and the final phrase “both the things are done” is grammatically possible but unclear in reference. Review agreement, clause structure, and punctuation in longer sentences.

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