Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people believe that primary schools concentrate heavily on a specific form of official education, and they argue that play is an essential part in children's development that they do not get enough of. My view is alligned with this opinion.

Play is an integral part in the life of a child. It is a source of joy, energy dispensation and friendship creation. Children's personalities are formed through playing with their peers. From it, they learn how to deal with competition, cheating, bullying, friends and foes. It is used as means of protection to children to protect them from the evils of the world, and to distract them from building an addictive habit that may stem from the use of modern technology like phones and video games.

However, education is also of high importance. At this stage of a child's life, it is important that they build habits such as serious reading and critical thinking. Formal education equips children with maths skills, foundations of science, literature and language. Such skills are of equal signficance to a child's development and career opportunities as they grow up to be adults. Without them, future generations would lack the necessary qualifications to keep a society running and healthy. But this does not justify the strictness of the primary school system. Although technical skills like maths and science are substantial, they can be taught at lower levels of rigor, providing children more time to play and have fun before growing up and bearing more responsibilites.

In conclusion, while play is very important to children, it is necessary for schools to provide the necessary balance that achieves both children's well-being and knowledge.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction (“My view is aligned with this opinion”) and remains consistent: play deserves more space, but formal education is also necessary. You address both parts of the prompt by explaining the developmental value of play and the importance of academic skills, then recommending a balance. The examples of learning to handle competition and bullying, and of gaining foundations in maths and science, are relevant. To strengthen the response further, develop some claims with more specific explanation. For instance, the point that play protects children from “the evils of the world” is broad, and the suggestion that formal skills can be taught at “lower levels of rigor” would benefit from a concrete classroom example or clearer explanation of how this would work.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: it introduces your view, considers the benefits of play, balances these against the value of education, and concludes with a recommendation. Paragraphing supports this structure, and transitions such as “However” and “In conclusion” make the main shifts easy to follow. Within paragraphs, ideas generally develop in a sensible order. At times, however, the links between points are less explicit: the move from play as protection to avoiding technology habits, for example, feels abrupt. Some sentences also accumulate several ideas in a list, which can make the progression feel less controlled. Use clearer links to show how each example supports the paragraph’s central claim, and separate distinct points where needed.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary and attempt some less common expressions, including “integral,” “critical thinking,” “qualifications,” and “well-being.” These choices help you discuss both social development and formal education. However, several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “energy dispensation,” “friendship creation,” “used as means of protection to children,” and “lower levels of rigor.” There are also spelling errors in “alligned,” “signficance,” and “responsibilites.” These do not prevent understanding, but they limit the precision and naturalness of the writing. Aim to use familiar collocations accurately, and check spelling carefully, especially in key terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including subordinate clauses (“Although technical skills like maths and science are substantial…”) and a relative clause (“a habit that may stem from…”). Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, and the conclusion is grammatically controlled. Some errors remain in sentence construction and grammatical patterns. For example, “It is used as means of protection to children to protect them” has an awkward repeated infinitive and missing article before “means”; “At this stage of a child's life, it is important that they build habits” also shifts from singular “a child” to plural “they.” Review article use, pronoun consistency, and sentence construction. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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