Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Today some people argue that primary school focus on too much learning, however I am against this opinion.

For children ranging from 3 to 7 years, school plays an important and vital role. School is the place where children will not only learn, but will also enjoy by engaging in different activities. The fact that primary school focus too much formal learning is total wrong because in every school, there is specific hours for every activity. All the activities are properly planned that include playing time, studying time etc. If students are just engaging in obtaining too much formal education in their primary, brain growth capacity will not be done properly. Scientifically this claim is also true because from 3 to 7 years is the age where our anunity system and brain is properly developing so school plays all activities accordingly.

It is very important for children to play as well as learn in primary school classroom because it will help to accomodate among their peers. Students slowly and gradually will develop a sense of ownership. For example: in Pakistan, when children cross 3 years, they are admitted into school. In the start, it becomes extremely difficult for children to leave their parents but slowly the mix among their peers and friendships start developing. Children not only study with their friends but when they play among friend they start adopting good habits of their friends too, and create unbreakable friendships.

Primary school is not like a jail which some people believe where there child will just get formal learning but its a heaven for children as they develop skills which they can't even develop at their homes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall position by saying, “I am against this opinion,” and you address both whether formal learning is overemphasised and the value of play. The example of children in Pakistan adjusting to school and forming friendships is relevant support for the importance of play. However, the response only partly develops the first question: the claim that schools allocate specific hours to different activities is asserted rather than illustrated, and the explanation about brain development is unclear. The conclusion also makes a broad claim about school being “a heaven” without summarising the argument. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely how play supports learning and give a concrete example of a school activity. (Nine words copied from the task prompt were not counted.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a concluding statement. The second body paragraph also follows a generally understandable sequence from children entering school to developing friendships. However, progression between ideas is sometimes weak. For example, the discussion moves from scheduled activities to brain development without clearly showing how the points connect, and the final paragraph introduces the “jail” comparison rather than drawing together the earlier reasons. Linking phrases such as “For example” and “because” are used, but connections can feel repetitive or imprecise. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on; use clear references to connect ideas and make the conclusion reflect the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “activities,” “brain growth” and “friendships,” and the meaning is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the reader pause. For instance, “accomodate among their peers” does not express the intended idea naturally, while “the mix among their peers” and “unbreakable friendships” are awkward or overstated in this context. “Anunity system” is also unclear. Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling, especially for key terms. More varied vocabulary for the benefits of play—such as cooperation, social development and problem-solving—would help express your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses with “because,” “when” and “but,” so there is some variety. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to follow. Examples include “primary school focus” instead of a correctly formed subject–verb combination, “there is specific hours,” and “the age where our … system and brain is properly developing,” where agreement and sentence construction are problematic. There are also issues with articles and pronouns, as in “there child,” and punctuation around the example beginning “For example:”. Practise building accurate sentences around one main clause, then add subordinate clauses carefully; check agreement, articles and punctuation during revision.

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