Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

These days, the modern education system is keeping primary school students invested in the formal learning. It is the teaching style in which students spend all their time in the class room with their curriculum. I agree with the statement that schools are focusing on formal learning. Now a days, the importance of playground is being ignored in the education system.

The formal learning keeps children busy with their course books. Their whole time passes taking lectures and doing home work. This style of learning hinders the cognitive abilities of the youngsters. For instance, those students who do not enjoy recreational activities are most likely to be emotionally suppressed. Moreover, they can become book worms who have lost creative abilities and problem solving skills. The style of education should have a balanced approach between the classroom and the playground.

Secondly, When there is no play time or other outside recreational activities for the students, they loose their cognitive abilities. For example, the pupils of grade 4, who spend all their day with books issued by the school, can not uncover their creative thoughts. They might not be able to enjoy a leisure and refreshing time outside. Children of younger age need a balanced life between education in the class rooms and recreational activities in the play grounds.

To sum up, the focus of the primary schools should not be on formal learning only. It can restrict the creative abilities of the students. To attain a better learning environment, the students also need to spend some time in the play grounds and doing extra curricular activities. This can improve their abilities and help them perform better while being in the class room.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you explain that play supports creativity and children’s development. You also address both parts of the prompt by discussing the focus on classroom work and the value of playground activities. Examples such as pupils spending the day with books help keep the response relevant. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that children who miss recreational activities become “emotionally suppressed” needs clearer reasoning or a more specific example. The response would be stronger if it explained more precisely how play benefits learning and gave a developed, realistic example. Your conclusion restates your view but adds little further support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop concerns about formal learning, and a conclusion summarises your position. Ideas generally follow a sensible order, and linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Moreover,” and “To sum up” help guide the reader. However, the two body paragraphs overlap considerably, repeating that children need a balance between books and play without clearly assigning each paragraph a distinct focus. Some connections are also mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “For example” and “Moreover.” Improve progression by giving each paragraph a separate main point—for example, one on social or emotional development and one on creativity and classroom learning—and use clearer references to connect supporting details to those points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “cognitive abilities,” “recreational activities,” “creative thoughts,” and “balanced approach,” which helps communicate the topic. There are also attempts at more expressive language, such as “book worms.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “keeping … invested in the formal learning,” “their whole time passes taking lectures,” and “uncover their creative thoughts” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling and form errors such as “loose” for “lose,” “Now a days,” and “extra curricular” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural combinations such as “engaged in formal learning,” “spend their time attending lessons,” and “develop their creativity.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple statements and longer sentences, including subordinate clauses beginning with “who” and “when,” so the response shows some structural variety. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the importance of playground” needs an article or plural form, and “students spend all their time in the class room with their curriculum” has an unclear grammatical relationship between the phrases. In “When there is no play time … they loose,” the sentence begins with a dependent clause and should be joined to the main clause with appropriate punctuation; “Secondly, When” also has incorrect capitalisation. Work on articles, sentence boundaries, and constructing complex sentences accurately, while checking verb forms and punctuation before submitting.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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