Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary school serves as the foundation for the early education of toddlers, where they are learning and experiencing things for first time. This foundation serves as a vital role in understanding and focusing capability of the children in later academia.

As far as i have seen and experienced the education system implemented in primary schools, I do not agree with the statement that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I have seen that the learning process that is adopted in primary schools is visually interactive and curious, kids learn by playing certain relavent games or by doing different fun activities. In this way, they enjoys the learning process and also get conceptual clarity of the concept in most easy to understand way. Such learning does not feel like a burden for a kid, infact they get more excited to learn new things and to do new fun activities.

Perhaps it is very important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom, because it will make their attention span to last longer. This would also create a sense of curiousity in them that builds up the self motivation in them to keep learning and exploring new things. For example to make them learn basic colors, the teachers can teach them learn these colors with the help of a game. Two students holding same color paper would make up a pair, in this way they would learn the new color and can also memorize it, to identify colors in their daily life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear position by stating that you do not agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you address the importance of play. The example of teaching colours through a matching game is relevant and helps explain how play can support learning. However, the discussion is brief: the claim that play extends attention and builds curiosity is not developed with much explanation, and the first part relies mainly on your personal observation rather than considering when formal learning might be excessive. The response is 235 words, so it is 15 words below the required minimum; the 22 words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop your reasons further and add a second supporting example to address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining your position, and a paragraph on the value of play. Ideas generally follow a sensible order, and the colour-matching example connects to the point about learning through games. However, progression within the paragraphs is limited, and several links are repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “also” and “in this way.” The opening sentence about primary school as a foundation is not clearly connected to the argument that follows. Some references, such as “This foundation” and “it,” could be more precise. Use clearer topic sentences and vary linking expressions, while making each paragraph develop one main point from claim to explanation and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “conceptual clarity,” “attention span,” and “self motivation.” These choices show an attempt to express ideas beyond very basic language. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “serves as a vital role,” “for first time,” and “in most easy to understand way.” There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “relavent” and “curiousity,” and some repetition of “learn,” “learning,” and “new things.” These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but they limit precision and naturalness. Check common collocations and spelling, and use a wider range of accurate terms for classroom activities and children’s development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a conditional example with “would.” The overall meaning is usually clear, but errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “they enjoys” should be “they enjoy,” while “for first time” needs an article (“for the first time”). In “the teachers can teach them learn these colors,” the verb pattern is faulty; use “teach them to identify these colours.” The final example also joins two independent ideas with a comma, so it would be clearer as separate sentences or with a suitable conjunction. Review subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and punctuate longer sentences carefully.

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