Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people consider primary schools to be heavily focusing on formal learning instead of giving room to kids to play and discover their environment, while others argue the opposite.

Which one of the two points of view is more accurate?

Personally, i agree with people who argue that primary schools are heavily focusing on formal learning instead of letting kids play and develop an understanding of the world around them, in defense of my point of view i give the following reasons.

Firstly, engaging kids in a structred schooling system that leaves no time for kids to play in develop social skills with other kids their age, is a big mistake, as it can lead the kid to grow up unnable to navigate his environment accuratly in terms of communicating with people and doing social interractions.

Second, a child's happiness is related to his play time along side other factors, depriving a kid from his freedom to play, or limiting it to a few minutes a day so he can focus on classes and homework will seriously affect his hapinness.

Lastly, i give the example of two countries that has not followed the tradition primary schooling system, which are Sweden and Finland, these two countries score high in the hapinness index of children, one of the many factors that led them to this, is not depriving a kid from his chilldhood so that he can attend classes.

In conclusion, i agree with people who argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, but i also don't underestimate the importance of formal learning, the key for having a happy child is finding a balance between formal learning and giving the kid a room to grow healthly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much emphasis to formal learning, and your conclusion adds that learning still matters if balanced with play. You address both the focus on formal learning and the value of play, with relevant points about social development and children’s happiness. The social-skills point is explained, but the claim about happiness is less fully supported, and the reference to Sweden and Finland needs a clearer link to specific classroom practices or evidence. The opening asks which view is more accurate, although the task asks for your degree of agreement and the importance of play. To strengthen the response, answer both questions directly and develop each example more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to three supporting points and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “Second,” and “Lastly” help readers follow the argument, and the final paragraph returns to your position. However, the progression is somewhat mechanical, and the first sentence introduces two opposing views that are not explored further. Some connections between claims and support are also abrupt: the country example, for instance, is not clearly tied to how play is organised in schools. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on. More precise referencing and a wider range of linking methods would make the argument flow more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “social skills,” “freedom to play,” and “balance,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “navigate his environment” and “happiness index.” However, the range is limited by repeated use of “kid” and “play,” and some combinations are unnatural, including “focus too much on formal learning” in places where you mean prioritising it, and “in defense of my point of view.” Spelling errors such as “structred,” “hapinness,” and “chilldhood” are noticeable and reduce accuracy. Build a more varied set of education-related terms and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “as it can lead the kid to grow up unable to navigate his environment” and a longer sentence explaining the effect of limited play. This shows some range, and the overall meaning remains clear. However, some sentence structures are difficult to control, particularly the opening of the second paragraph, where several clauses run together without clear punctuation. There are also errors in agreement and sentence construction, such as “two countries that has not followed,” and inconsistent capitalisation of “I.” Review subject–verb agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation, and break long sentences into clearer units. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

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