Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There is no brainer that learning is a vital and crucial for a human being.Thus,it is mandatory to integrate it in them as a life aspect from their childhood in order to enhance their developement and that is the role of the primary school.Some people tthat that primary schools focus heavily on pedagogical learning.So, do they seem to be right ?

People who say that primary schools give their focus on formal learning only, defend their opinion with the fact that life is not only circuling around books and math formulas but also on how they interact with society and get integrated in it. Appending that the only way to have a healthy kid is by giving them fair amount of time where they play with each other and thus learn to discover themselves in the society.

For my point of view. I unflinchingly agree with these people, because formal learning is only just a portion and a permanent part of our lifetime. In the other childhood, is once in a life period in every human,and the destiny of our future as adult is tightly related to how we exploit childhood. As deduction, every must child must take advantage of every second in his childhood beside learning in school, for example: most of introvert and intimated people used to just read books when they were kids,while extrovert and acceptable people used to have a balance between their school and playing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a clear position by saying, “I unflinchingly agree,” and you recognise that children need time to play and develop social skills as well as study. However, the response only partially addresses the task: the importance of play in the primary-school classroom is not explained in enough detail, and the example contrasting introverted readers with extroverted children is broad and unsupported. The opening also spends space restating the issue rather than developing your reasons. The response is 10 words below the required minimum, which limits the opportunity to explain and support your ideas. To strengthen the answer, explain specific ways classroom play supports learning—for example, cooperation, communication, or problem-solving—and give a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response moves from an introduction to the opposing view and then to your own position. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these stages. However, the overall progression is not consistently clear, and some links between ideas are difficult to follow. For instance, “In the other childhood” does not clearly connect the point about childhood to the claim that adult outcomes depend on it. Connectors such as “So,” “For my point of view,” and “As deduction” are either awkward or do not clearly show the relationship between sentences. The final paragraph also combines several claims and an example without developing them in a clear sequence. Use a simple structure—position, reason, explanation, example—and choose linking phrases that accurately express each connection.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “society,” “integrated,” and “introvert,” which shows an effort to discuss education and social development. However, the range is limited by frequent inaccurate word choices, spelling errors, and unnatural collocations that sometimes make the meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “There is no brainer,” “circuling around books,” “intimated people,” and “acceptable people.” Some words also do not express the intended idea precisely, as in “pedagogical learning” where “formal academic learning” would be clearer. Build a reliable set of phrases for discussing play and learning, and check spelling and collocations. Prefer clear, accurate wording over ambitious vocabulary that does not fit the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “because” and “while,” but control is inconsistent. Frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation can make the reader pause or infer your meaning. For example, “learning is a vital and crucial for a human being” has an incorrect article pattern, while “every must child must take advantage” has faulty word order. The sentence beginning “In the other childhood” is also incomplete or unclear in its construction. Several sentences run together without appropriate spacing after full stops. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then add subordinate clauses; proofread for sentence boundaries, articles, and subject–verb agreement.

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