Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In recent years lot of people believe that low level of schools students focus too much than postgraduate students . However this essay will discuss the main cause and solution why people argue primary schools focus too much than formal learning .

First and foremost in many countries people argue primary schools focus very high in my opinion lot of countries schools teachers are lot of focus small children , and when they are child they have lot of focusing . Forexample in schools when child work not good , and not prepare at home lot of teacher have a punishment they work again at least student prepare this lesson . Furthermore in colleges and universities are not working hard sometime they go to next lecture and not repeat again and students not prepare work at least finally students fail .

As well as in my opinion school teachers repeat 4 to 5 time on chapter and students revise lot of time , for example they repeat five time in school and five time in accademy at the end finally they passed. However universities students and colleges students sometime they leave and lacture miss at not repeat this lacture in the school and university , and students not prepare this lacture .

In order to a recapitulate in my prospective people have a good argue schoolian education is better than formal learning . As well as when students prepare this lacture at school and when they go university and colleges sometime repeat lesson but parapharasing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response makes a limited attempt to discuss primary-school learning, but it does not clearly answer either part of the question. The opening says the essay will discuss the “main cause and solution,” although the task asks for your degree of agreement and the importance of play. Most of the body compares primary pupils with university students and describes repetition, homework, and failure; it does not explain whether formal learning is excessive or how play benefits children. The final view that “schoolian education is better than formal learning” is difficult to interpret and does not establish a clear position. To develop the response, state your agreement directly, address play explicitly, and support each point with relevant examples about primary-age children.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and linking expressions such as “First and foremost,” “Furthermore,” and “However” show awareness of cohesion. However, the ideas do not progress clearly: the discussion shifts from primary pupils to university students, then to repeated lessons, without showing how these points answer the question. Several sentences repeat similar claims about students not preparing or revising. Some connectors also imply relationships that are unclear, and the conclusion introduces an indistinct point rather than summarising a developed argument. A clearer plan would give one paragraph to formal learning and another to the value of play, with each paragraph following a main idea, explanation, and relevant example.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary is basic and often repetitive, particularly “students,” “school,” “repeat,” and “prepare.” There are some attempts to use topic-related language, including “primary schools,” “universities,” “punishment,” and “revise,” but several choices or combinations make the intended meaning difficult to follow, such as “focus very high,” “have a lot of focusing,” and “schoolian education.” Spelling errors, including “accademy,” “lacture,” and “parapharasing,” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise range around the actual topic—for example, “formal instruction,” “classroom activities,” and “social development”—and check common collocations and spelling. This would help express ideas without relying on repeated general words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, using clauses introduced by “when,” “and,” and “however.” Some basic meaning can be followed, but control is inconsistent: for example, “In recent years lot of people believe” lacks an article and has an awkward tense pattern, while “when they are child they have lot of focusing” has problems with number and sentence construction. Subject–verb agreement and verb forms are also unreliable in phrases such as “students not prepare” and “they leave and lacture miss.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries need attention, as several long sentences join multiple ideas without clear structure. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking articles, plurals, and verb forms.

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