Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people suggest that primary schools pay too much attention on formal learning. However, in my opinion, it is significant important to play as well as studying in the primary school classroom.

Primary school is the place for childrens to build the foundation of the basic knowledge through structure learning. Curricular studies are the main source of the information given by teachers through lectures. Normally, primary school operates from 8AM to 2PM, so they have to cover all the courses and assignment in that time to complete the study material. However, if any student, miss any class or lecture, it would be difficult for them to cover that material. Students, who pay more concentration on the study material at home as well as at classroom, they may get a change to get the higher position in the class room and would be able to nominated as the position holder from the school.

On the other hand, physical activity is also more essential for the for students health as well as for their mental ability. Such students, who take part in the co curricular activities, they have fresh minds, more energy, more strength as well more mental ability to perform better in the studies as well. When they spend all the time on studies and get some extra time to pay, this help them, to gain more knowledge about other activities as well.

In conclusion, I suggest that there must be a competition between student in games along the studies so that they can perform better in the all scenarioes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a relevant position: play is important alongside formal study, and you mention both academic learning and physical and mental benefits. However, the response only partially develops the task. The discussion of formal learning focuses mainly on covering courses and the consequences of missing lessons, rather than explaining whether schools place too much emphasis on it. Your point that play can refresh students and support their studies is relevant, but it needs a specific example and fuller explanation. The conclusion proposes competition in games, which does not clearly follow from the argument or directly answer how important classroom play is. State your degree of agreement clearly and support each main reason with an example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “However” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the broad contrast between formal study and physical activity. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from school hours to missed lessons and then to becoming a “position holder,” without clearly linking these points to the question of excessive formal learning. Several sentences also use repetitive or unclear references, such as “Such students” and “they,” while the final sentence introduces competition without preparing for it. Organise each paragraph around one clear reason, use linking phrases to show cause and result, and ensure the conclusion reflects the argument already developed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “curricular studies,” “physical activity,” and “co-curricular activities,” so the subject is generally clear. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate, sometimes making the intended meaning difficult to follow. For example, “pay more concentration” and “get a change to get the higher position” do not express the ideas naturally; “pay” is also used where you mean “play.” There are spelling and word-form problems such as “childrens” and “scenarioes.” Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. Replacing repeated general terms with accurate vocabulary for classroom learning, play, and children’s development would make the argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “if any student, miss any class or lecture, it would be difficult for them to cover that material.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors affect clarity. Examples include “it is significant important,” “primary school is the place for childrens,” and “this help them,” which show problems with word forms, articles, and subject–verb agreement. Commas also interrupt sentence structure, as in “if any student, miss” and “this help them, to gain.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea, then add subordinate clauses only when you can control their grammar. Check agreement, plurals, articles, and punctuation during revision.

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