Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The school is not only to studies. It is the place where the children learn manner ,habit and way of communication. I am in support to formal learning, because the studends of Finland are very intellegent they are suppose to learn and grom their brain. In the fin land there is no assesment for the students. They only come and learn good manner etc. But in our country studend only know the method of revising no any other skill. In China the fifth class students are making the roborts and TV remote because they suppose to learn it. I am very strongly agree with playing games in school. The scintiest James Halton said that "The video game is not the waste of time, but it help student in quick dicision making and brain structuring" . I am also in favour to the physical game , a man said "A healty body has healthy mind". This is juged that the studends who are good in supports are also good in the studies. If the students of fifth class are force to do difficult home work and lot of tasks. Then his little brain would not able to do it correctly. And there is lot of burden by the families the studends force to achive to good marks. If he not scores good then he go to depression. The student who takes part in extra cerecullar activites is more confidend ,present mind and clever insted of book worm. So formal activites are good for the students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a discernible view: you support formal learning but also strongly favour play, and you offer relevant examples such as practical robot-making and the benefits of physical games. This addresses both questions to some extent. However, the position is not consistently explained: the opening says you support formal learning, while the conclusion, “So formal activities are good,” does not clearly resolve how much you agree that schools focus too much on it. Several claims, including the Finland comparison and the link between sports and academic success, are asserted rather than explained or supported. Develop each main point with a clear reason and an example, and directly compare the value of formal lessons with play to make your response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response contains a sequence of related points, moving from school learning to examples of practical skills, games, homework pressure and extracurricular activities. However, the ideas are presented in one continuous paragraph, so the reader cannot easily distinguish the introduction, supporting arguments and conclusion. Connections between points are often abrupt: the shift from Finland to China, and then to a quotation about video games, is not explained. Linking phrases such as “But” and “If” appear, but they do not create a clear overall progression, and references such as “he” and “it” can be unclear. Use separate paragraphs for your position, the benefits of play, and your conclusion, and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to education and child development, including “formal learning,” “decision making,” “physical game,” “depression” and “extracurricular activities.” These choices show an effort to discuss more than basic classroom routines. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or inaccurate word choices make parts difficult to read, for example “studends,” “intellegent,” “grom,” “scintiest” and “cerecullar.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “good in supports” and “present mind.” Aim to learn accurate spelling and common collocations as complete phrases, such as “take part in sports” and “stay focused.” More precise vocabulary would help you express the contrast between academic instruction and play clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use mostly simple statements and make some attempts at longer conditional sentences, such as “If the students of fifth class are force to do difficult home work…,” which shows an effort to explain consequences. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “they are suppose to learn” needs a corrected verb form, while “If he not scores good then he go to depression” has several problems with the conditional structure and verb forms. The opening fragment, “The school is not only to studies,” is also not a complete, natural sentence. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then extend them with clauses using “because,” “although” and “if.”

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