Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

As the education system continues to evolve, the question of whether primary schools put too much attention on formal learning has become a relevant topic of discussion. I wholeheartedly agree with this statement due to how essential soft skills have become in the modern era and how neglected the concept of mental health is for younger generation.

As a child continues to grow, it is expected that the school should prepare them for any obstacle they may face in their life. This duty is even greater for the primary schools, as children learn most of the foundational skills in that age. But unfortunately, primary schools in most countries only teach them basic literacy and numeracy skill, while keeping them completely unprepared for more important asepcts of life. For example, computer skills are probably one of the most crucial skills in the modern days. If a child is not able to use a computer, they are bound to fall behind. Therefore, it is very important for primary scholols to teach such soft skills to sudents so that they can go hand in hand with the current demands.

Another aspect that is quite frequently ignored is the mental health of children. Primary school-going students are supposed to enjoy their life while preparing slowly for the real world. They are not supposed to drown in academic pressure in such early age. Studies have shown that students who do not enjoy their daily life are expected to be less successfull when they grow up. Hence, children should be allowed to play games with their friends and enjoy while in school. Absence of entertainment in schools also creates a sense of fear among the little ones, which can have a long-lasting effect in their lives.

In conclusion, primary schools should divert their focus from formal teaching methods to more informal ones, while keeping the mental health ascept in their mind. Education is the backbone of a nation, but it of no use if the physical backbone of the younger geneartion is damaged by carrying heavy books to school just to gain academic knowledge.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, and the essay gives relevant reasons concerning practical skills and children’s wellbeing. You also address the importance of play, explaining that children should enjoy time with friends and avoid excessive academic pressure. However, the response develops the first point unevenly: computer use is presented as a crucial skill, but the link between this example and the value of play in the classroom is not made clear. The claim about studies and later success is also broad and unsupported. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how classroom play develops skills or supports wellbeing, and give a specific example to substantiate your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs focused on different reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from practical preparation to mental health is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Another aspect” and “In conclusion” help readers identify the stages of the argument. Some connections are less secure, however. The first body paragraph moves from literacy and numeracy to computer skills without explaining how this relates to the central issue of formal learning versus play. The conclusion’s reference to heavy books and physical damage also introduces a point not developed earlier. Use clearer links between each example and your main argument, and make the conclusion synthesise the points already discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “foundational skills,” “academic pressure,” “mental health,” and “long-lasting effect.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some less common expressions show an attempt to be precise. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “put too much attention on,” “in the modern days,” and “drown in academic pressure.” Spelling errors, including “asepcts,” “scholols,” “successfull,” and “geneartion,” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent understanding, but more careful editing and more natural phrasing would improve control. Aim to use precise expressions consistently rather than relying on broad claims such as “more important aspects of life.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses in “As a child continues to grow” and “If a child is not able to use a computer.” Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, and the overall argument remains easy to understand. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with articles, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “for younger generation” needs an article or plural form, “basic literacy and numeracy skill” has a number-agreement problem, and “it of no use” is missing a verb. The phrase “in such early age” also needs a different article pattern. Review these recurring structures and proofread sentence by sentence; greater accuracy would make your varied sentence forms more effective.

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