Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

As education system is evolving, there is an ongoing debate that primary schools prioritize formal learning. I firmly disagree with the argument since the education system is now more concerned about children's mental health compared to the past generation and changing curriculum based on the priorities.

The current era has changed to a positive direction regarding understanding the psychological condition of people, specially children. There is not only an increasing number of research about children's physical and mental health, but also the awarness has rose significantly. As a result, the school authorities are more weary of the developement of children and changing rules to facilitate the developement. For example, they are being more flexible regarding formal learning and it is ensured that children learn by playing and is never under pressure. In the past generation, children were taught by memorizing and puttinh too much pressure but in the present era, they are taught with practical examples and with enjoyments .

To ensure the proper physical and psychological development of the children, there is no alternative of playing. The experience, children gather through playing, can't be replaced by the knowledge gained within the boundaries of the classroom. It not only introduces them to the real world but also provides the opportunity to understand the real worlds problems and discover the solutions.

In conclusion, the way education system is evolving to a positive direction regarding the consideration of child's health and taking necessary actions, it can't be said that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, rather they are being more involved with learning through play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you give relevant reasons, including greater attention to children’s wellbeing and the value of learning through play. The examples about memorisation in the past and practical, enjoyable learning now help explain your view. However, the two parts of the question are not developed equally. You explain why you think formal learning is less dominant, but the importance of play in the classroom is supported mainly by broad claims about real-world experience and problem-solving. Develop this part with a specific classroom example and explain how play complements academic learning. The response meets the stated length requirement; the nine words copied from the prompt were excluded from the count. Overall, some ideas remain under-developed or unclear.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, two body paragraphs present reasons, and a conclusion restates your view. Paragraphs generally have a distinct focus, and linking expressions such as “As a result,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. At times, however, the progression within a paragraph is less clear. The first body paragraph moves from research and awareness to school rules and then to a comparison with the past, without fully explaining the links between these points. Some references, such as “the development” and “the experience,” are also broad. To strengthen cohesion, make each paragraph’s main point explicit and use clearer links to show how each example supports it, rather than relying mainly on standard transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “mental health,” “psychological condition,” “memorizing,” and “practical examples,” which allows you to discuss education and child development. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “facilitate the development.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “weary of the development,” “the real worlds problems,” and “changed to a positive direction.” Spelling errors such as “awarness,” “developement,” and “puttinh” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main argument, but they make parts of the response less precise. Aim to learn common word partnerships and proofread spelling, while choosing simpler, accurate expressions when unsure.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “There is not only an increasing number of research … but also the awareness…” and the explanatory sentence beginning “To ensure the proper physical and psychological development…”. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “children learn by playing and is never under pressure” has an unclear subject and faulty agreement; “the experience, children gather through playing” has incorrect clause structure; and “real worlds problems” needs a possessive form. The opening phrase “As education system is evolving” also needs an article. Work on subject–verb agreement, articles, possessives, and sentence construction, then check punctuation and spacing. More consistently accurate complex sentences would make your reasoning easier to follow.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.