Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

some people believe that primary schools concentrate highly on formal education. I strongly agree with this statement as primary educational institutes focus on formal learning more than encouraging students in other activities. It is very important for kids to play rather than learning all the time.

on the one hand, formal studies play an important role in young students life. They get to know how the number system works, they improve their communication skills and understand discipline. Schools create an environment where students are taught usefull knowledge and its implementation in real life. For instance , the school of hyderabad creates a unique surrounding for each class of students to understand textbooks virtually and memorize them. however, remembering books is not the only ability a young kid should develop, there must be time for other activities.

on the other hand, it is very important for students to explore other activities such as playing. being involved in games improves physical health which also leads to be better at solving problems. Many researchers have observed kids who play very often at a young age tend to grow a carrier in their desired field and have a successful life. For example, virat kholi used to play cricket everysingle day along with his studies since class 7th and now he is the best batsmen india has ever seen. This helps us understand how important it is for schools to focus equally on playing.

In conclusion, although learning is important for students at a young age to undertand basic concepts i believe that educational institues must consider playing as an important part of life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you also explain why play matters. The response addresses both parts of the question, with relevant points about discipline and communication on one side and physical health and problem-solving on the other. The examples of a Hyderabad school and Virat Kohli help illustrate your ideas, although the first is not explained clearly enough to show how its approach relates to excessive formal learning. Some claims, such as that children who play often tend to build successful careers, are broad and need more explanation or support. Develop the comparison between classroom learning and play more fully to make your argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signposted by “on the one hand” and “on the other hand,” and a conclusion. This makes the overall line of argument easy to follow. However, the first body paragraph begins by supporting formal study, while the essay’s position is that schools overemphasise it; the link between this point and your main argument could be made more explicit. Some connections are also abrupt, particularly the move from playing to career success in the second body paragraph. Use linking phrases to show how each example supports the point, and make references such as “This” more specific. More varied, precise transitions would make the progression less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “formal education,” “communication skills,” “discipline,” “physical health” and “solving problems.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and you attempt more specific expressions such as “implementation in real life.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “concentrate highly on,” “grow a carrier,” and “focus equally on playing.” Spelling errors such as “usefull,” “undertand” and “institues,” along with inconsistent capitalisation of names, reduce accuracy. Aim for natural academic collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe schools as “placing too much emphasis on” formal learning and say that play can “support children’s development.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and some more complex forms, including “although learning is important…” and the relative clause “where students are taught…”. Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur in sentence structure, agreement, articles and punctuation. For example, “young students life” needs a possessive form, and “leads to be better at solving problems” has an incorrect verb pattern. The sentence beginning “Many researchers have observed kids who play…” also needs clearer clause structure. Capital letters are missing at the beginnings of several sentences, and commas are sometimes misplaced. Practise accurate possessives and verb patterns, and proofread sentence boundaries and punctuation while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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