Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and should also allow kids to play. While i acknowledge that formal learning is a great method to teach kids the necessary useful basics like discipline and concentration, i disagree with the view that only formal learning should be implemented in primary schools' curriculum, as adding playing time can bring many advantages if managed well.

Those who hold positive views about having only formal learning in primary schools would argue that schools are a place to teach discipline, education and manners and that it's not a playground. Additionally, kids get distracted easily, so instead of focusing on learning, they would only concentrate on playing instead of courses. Older generations especially tend to believe that formal learning is the best methodology to teach kids as that is the way that they were taught.

However, i believe that it's possible to overcome all these problems by organizing playtime and managing kids well. Kids in general don't have the mental capacity and endurance of adults, that is why it's hard for them to concentrate for longer periods. Therefore adding some playtime can be beneficial in refreshing their concentration. For instance, i have a nephew and a niece that i teach english from time to time. After teaching them for a long period, i noticed that they become more focused and more encouraged to learn when they know that they will have a prize if they do well, like getting chocolate or playing with the laptop. Therefore, kids will give a better performance when they know that they will have the chance to play later. Furthermore, kids rarely get the chance to communicate with each other in class. That is why it will be harder for them to build relationships and make friends which is detrimental to their social life.Additionally, similar to how adults take a nap to replenish their energy, kids replenish their mental state when they get a chance to play between classes.

Nevertheless, playing time should still be organized well so pupils can get enough rest between classes but also not too much playtime so that they get too tired or can't concentrate on classes anymore or focus only on playing.

In my opinion, although there are disadvantages to giving playtime to kids during school, i believe that they can be easily mitigated if playtime is managed and organized well. When organized effectively, the advantages, such as giving kids the chance to replenish their mental energy and build human relationships, make this approach more beneficial to kids especially in the long-term.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear throughout: you disagree that formal learning should be the only approach and argue that well-managed play benefits children. You address both parts of the prompt, explaining why play matters and how it can complement classroom learning. The examples about rewarding your nephew and niece and children’s opportunities to build relationships help support your view. To make the response more fully developed, explain more precisely how classroom play can be planned to support learning, rather than relying mainly on rewards or general claims about concentration and social life. The opposing view is relevant, but the point about older generations is broad and could be supported or linked more directly to the question. The response also meets the stated length requirement; nine words copied from the prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, a paragraph presents the opposing view, and the following paragraphs develop your reasons before a concluding summary. Linking expressions such as “However,” “For instance,” and “Nevertheless” help signal shifts in argument. This gives the reader a coherent route through your ideas. At times, however, connections feel mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “Therefore” and “That is why.” The long paragraph beginning “However, i believe” also combines concentration, your family example, social relationships, and rest; separating these into focused paragraphs would make progression easier to follow. Check punctuation between sentences, especially the missing space after “social life.”

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss schooling and children, including “formal learning,” “concentration,” “detrimental,” and “replenish their mental energy.” These choices communicate your main points, and some less common expressions show an attempt to be precise. However, several phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “necessary useful basics,” “positive views about having only formal learning,” and “give a better performance.” Repetition of “kids,” “playtime,” and “organized well” also limits flexibility and formality. Aim for more natural collocations and vary your terms—for example, use “pupils” or “young learners” where appropriate, and describe the educational purpose of structured play more specifically. These improvements would make the argument sound more controlled and academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including concession (“While I acknowledge…”), cause and effect (“so…”) and conditional phrasing (“if managed well”). Most sentences remain understandable, and the range helps you explain contrasting views and examples. Some errors in grammar and punctuation persist. The pronoun “I” is repeatedly written in lowercase, and the sentence “Kids in general don't have the mental capacity and endurance of adults, that is why…” joins two independent clauses with a comma. The long sentence beginning “Nevertheless” also contains several linked clauses that would be clearer if divided. Review sentence boundaries, capitalization, and punctuation around subordinate clauses; this would improve accuracy while preserving your varied sentence forms.

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