Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

I agree that in today's world as i am a citizen of India and i have experienced in my state that their is alit of pressure of study on the students and only formal education takes place in some countries like India and i can fell that how hard it is for a student to bare heavy study pressure by the teachers and their parents because i had gone through this and when i was a student, I litteraly started hating my school and study because of study pressure and i was forced by my parents to study and my parents usually compaires me with other students who got good grades than my and it was worst time for me and now when i look back to my past it seems like a nightmare to me and i can tell that the one who always struggles is a student who has nl freedom.According to me it is very important for a student to have some time to play and have freedom + some privacy and the students can gain good grades but if the teachers and the parents will always put burden on them their chjldren will lose his/her confidence level and also get demotivated and it is the point why they put burden on them the teachers and parents should let the children be free and look they will gain good grades because with education playing games is also very important because when a children plays game inside or outside his/her minds got refresh and they feel fresh and relax and afterwards they focus more on their studies and also playing video games make a children mind sharper and playing is as important as education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that formal study can place too much pressure on primary pupils, and your personal experience in India gives the response a relevant example. You also address the importance of play, explaining that it can help children feel refreshed and focus better afterwards. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The claim that play improves grades and that video games sharpen children’s minds is asserted rather than supported, and the response gives little detail about how schools could balance lessons and play. To strengthen the answer, explain these points with a specific classroom example and make the link between your reasons and your overall position more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response contains relevant ideas, and there is a basic progression from your experience of study pressure to the benefits of play. However, nearly all the ideas are placed in one very long paragraph, so the reader has difficulty seeing the stages of your argument. Several points are joined by repeated uses of “and,” while transitions such as “According to me” do not clearly show how one reason relates to the next. The shift from personal experience to advice for teachers and parents is also abrupt. Organise the response into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for pressure and play, and a conclusion. Use clear links such as “For example” and “As a result,” and ensure each paragraph develops one main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including phrases such as “study pressure,” “good grades,” “confidence level,” and “demotivated.” The personal account also gives the response some relevant language for discussing school experiences. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. For instance, “bare heavy study pressure” and “their is alit of pressure” do not express the intended meaning naturally, and “playing games” is repeated without distinguishing between physical play and video games. Aim for more precise collocations and vary repeated words. Proofread spelling carefully, and choose vocabulary that clearly identifies the type of play or pressure you mean.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express connected and complex ideas, including cause-and-effect relationships such as children feeling refreshed and then focusing more on their studies. However, many sentences are very long and contain several clauses without clear punctuation, making the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. There are also frequent problems with sentence structure and agreement, as in “when a children plays” and “his/her minds got refresh.” Tense and article use are inconsistent, and the opening sentence combines several ideas without a clear grammatical structure. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine related points using accurate conjunctions. Check subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation when editing.

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