Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely debated whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning while completely ignoring the game-learning methods of teaching. I completely agree with this opinion beacuse kids lose their focus while sitting for extended hours and gaing only textbook knowledge.

Mind mapping and game-learning methods of teaching plays a vital role in the development of cognitive thinking among young people. Children actively participate in the problem-solving activities, that undeniably open doors for the new ideas. By nature kids' curious minds can't stand with the idea of spending eight hours in a structured classroom, where they eventually loss their focus in the first few hours and that cause fatigue and distress in children. This is the reason why many kiids don't like to stay at school for a long time and repeatedly checking the clock to go back home.

Schools should introduce active learning methods in their curiculum like game-learning, poblem-solving and mind mapping, besides this, an active physical class should be scheduled on daily basis where students can learn gymnastics, karate, aerobics and other sports activities. As technology usuage rose dramatically in the recent years, building a habit of physical outdoor activities will build strength and moter ability which will also be benefical in adulthood.

In conclusion, primary schools can not relay on only traditional learning methods. They should have excessive emphasis on physical activities along with traditional learning methods. Building this system will create an open-minded youth who aren't afraid to solve problems or getting tired.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you give relevant reasons, including children losing focus and the value of problem-solving and physical activity. You also address both parts of the question by discussing play-based learning and explaining why it matters in the classroom. However, the second part is less fully developed: you recommend sports and active learning, but give limited detail about how play should complement classroom learning or a specific example of its benefits. The response is also 9 words below the 250-word minimum; the 8 words copied from the task prompt are not counted. Develop one example further and meet the required length to make your argument more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons and recommendations, and a conclusion restates your position. This makes the main argument understandable. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes uneven, and some links feel mechanical. For example, “This is the reason why” repeats the preceding explanation rather than advancing it, while “besides this” joins several recommendations without clearly showing their relationship. The conclusion introduces “open-minded youth” without developing that outcome earlier. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example directly to its main point, and vary linking expressions. More precise referencing between ideas would also help the reader follow the argument smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “cognitive thinking,” “problem-solving activities,” “structured classroom,” and “physical outdoor activities,” which helps communicate your ideas about learning and development. There are also attempts at less common expressions, but some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “game-learning methods,” “stand with the idea,” and “building a habit … will build strength.” Spelling errors, including “curiculum,” “poblem-solving,” and “benefical,” are noticeable and reduce the overall control of vocabulary. Choose more natural academic phrases and proofread carefully. For instance, “play-based learning” and “develop physical strength and motor skills” would express your intended meanings more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “activities, that undeniably open doors for the new ideas” and a reason clause beginning “where they eventually lose their focus.” The main ideas remain understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur often enough to affect accuracy. Examples include “methods … plays,” “that cause fatigue,” and “Schools should introduce …, besides this, an active physical class,” where the clause connection is faulty. There are also missing or unnecessary articles and awkward plural forms. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and separating complete clauses with a full stop or semicolon. Greater control of these patterns would make your varied sentences clearer.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.