Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A section of society thinks that primary schools focus more on learning and disregard playing as a part of school. I disagree with this because I think that most primary schools teach children in a way that its fun and not hectic.I think that basic concepts are formed during early years of schooling, when the thinking skills are still developing.While more significance should be given to receiving education, leisure time should also be included in class rooms, so children can relax and associate the school with positivity.

I think that formal learning should be given equal importance to playing in schools if not more. This is because children in the primary schools are of growing age, and their brain is still developing. At this critical stage of life, it is easier to learn and adapt new skills and knowledge. Morever, schools are institutions where teachers are specifically hired to give education and learn new things. I think that these students can play at home, but what is taught to them by the teachers with qualifications can not be taught at home. For instance, young students are taught basic skills like reading, writting at schools, if more focus is not put into learning, its hard to acquire understanding of these crucial tasks.

Some people argue that it is necessary for the youngster to play in school because this activity can also induce learning. Moreover, a lot of these kids have hard time going to school and staying away from parents for such a long time. If more time is spent doing fun activities , it can have a positive impact on them, which might lead to them coming to schools happily without making a fuss. For example, in many schools fun activities are included, like singing songs with names of colors. In this way children can learn the names of colors as well as have a fun time by singing. Many of them might even link this as a positive memory.

In conclusion, during developing years of a child it is important that they learn in schools, becase basic concepts can form easily. But past time activities should also be included to give them a relaxing environment so they donot feel burdenized.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that schools focus too much on formal learning, while also arguing that play should have a place in the classroom. You address both questions and support your points with relevant examples, especially the activity of singing colour names, which shows how play can reinforce learning. The explanation of why qualified teachers matter also supports your view. However, the discussion of the balance between learning and play is not fully developed: the claim that formal learning deserves equal importance “if not more” is not reconciled with your opening emphasis on including leisure. The benefits of play are explained mainly through enjoyment and school attendance; developing its social, physical, or problem-solving benefits would make the response more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the value of formal learning and play, and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress logically, and examples are placed alongside the points they illustrate. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. At times, however, the connections feel mechanical, and some references are unclear. For example, “this activity” could refer to play generally, while “link this as a positive memory” leaves the reference less precise. The conclusion also repeats earlier points rather than drawing together the proposed balance. Use more varied transitions and make links between claims explicit, particularly where you shift from prioritising learning to advocating equal importance for play.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss schooling, learning, and children, including phrases such as “critical stage of life,” “acquire understanding,” and “positive impact.” The examples also make the meaning clear. However, the range is somewhat repetitive, with frequent reliance on “learning,” “schools,” and “fun,” and several word-choice or collocation problems reduce naturalness. Phrases such as “induce learning,” “past time activities,” and “burdenized” are not idiomatic in this context; spelling errors such as “Morever,” “writting,” and “becase” also affect accuracy. Aim for more precise terms for classroom play and its educational benefits, and check spelling and collocations carefully. This would make your vocabulary more flexible and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses of reason and time, as in “This is because children… are of growing age” and “when the thinking skills are still developing.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include the missing apostrophe in “its fun,” the agreement and pronoun issue in “children… their brain is still developing,” and the awkward construction “teachers… hired to give education and learn new things,” where the subject of “learn” is unclear. Punctuation and spacing are also inconsistent, as in “hectic.I” and “activities ,”. Work on possessives, subject–verb agreement, and sentence boundaries, and revise complex sentences to ensure each clause has a clear subject and logical structure.

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