Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many people believe that primary schools only focuses on formal education rather than allowing childrens to play. I completely agree with this opinion because play is essential for students mental, physical, and social development.

Firstly, formal learning is important for students because it helps them to develop basic skills such as reading, writing, and mathematics. These skills help them to make strong foundation for their future education. However, spending too much time on studying books can lead young childrens to get tired and lose interest in studies. At this age, children have short attention span, so they need enjoyable activities to stay motivated. For example, teachers can add puzzle solving games or they can add educational games to help them learn numbers and spelling, making lessons more interesting and effective.

On the other hand, playing in the classroom helps children to develop social skills. Through group activities, they can learn how to communicate with others, how to share ideas, solve problems, and work as a team. For instance, instructors can make different groups of students and conduct a tournament which will help childrens to stay engaged in both studies and playing activities. In addition, adding playing activities in primary schools can improve kids confidence and help them to make new friends. These activities are as important as academic knowledge because it prepare childrens for real-life situations.

In conclusion, although formal learning for students is important, I strongly believe play activites are equally important in primary schools. A balanced approach can support kids academic progress while improving their health, creativity, and social development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction, where you state that you “completely agree,” and it remains consistent in the conclusion. You address both the concern about formal learning and the importance of play, explaining that excessive book-based study may reduce children’s interest and that group activities can build communication and teamwork. The examples of educational games and classroom tournaments help support your points. This is a well-focused response with relevant ideas extended through explanation. To strengthen it further, develop the claim that schools focus “too much” on formal learning with a more specific illustration or explanation of what an appropriate balance would look like; some benefits, such as improved confidence and preparation for real-life situations, are asserted rather than fully demonstrated.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting complementary points, and a conclusion that restates your view. The progression from the value of academic basics to the benefits of play is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” guide the reader. Examples are generally placed next to the ideas they support. To make the organisation more flexible and less dependent on formulaic transitions, connect some sentences through clearer reference and cause-and-effect links. For instance, the tournament example could explain more directly how it combines learning with play, while the final sentence of the second body paragraph could be linked more explicitly to the social skills described just before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss education and child development, including “formal learning,” “basic skills,” “social skills,” “stay motivated,” and “real-life situations.” These choices make your main ideas clear, and phrases such as “short attention span” and “balanced approach” suit the topic. There are, however, some inaccurate or awkward word choices and collocations: “make strong foundation” needs a more natural expression, and “conduct a tournament” is less precise for the classroom activity described. Spelling and word-form control also need attention in “activites” and “childrens.” Aim to use more precise terms for the kinds of play and learning activities you mean, and check possessive forms and spelling during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “because it helps them…” and “although formal learning… is important.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the contrast between academic study and play is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain. For example, “primary schools only focuses” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “it prepare childrens” also needs agreement and a correctly formed plural or possessive. Articles and noun forms are inconsistent in “make strong foundation,” and “students mental… development” needs a possessive marker. Review agreement, articles, and possessives, then proofread longer sentences to ensure each clause is grammatically complete and accurately connected.

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