Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, there are some people who believe that schools focus too much on formal learning rather than also focusing on extra cirricullam activities. I do not agree with this statement, as majority of the schools with adequete facilities and proper management are focusing on physical activites as well as formal learning.

Firstly, schools nowadays are aware of he competition going on between other schools and that competition is just not education wise but also sports wise as well. One of the biggest advantages for this, it is making the school more popular and respectable. Any student when achieves anything, will be providing benefits like better public image for the school where that student went on to represent. Another reason for focusing on physical activities to gain better opportunities for the students. They can choose a single sport and can focus on it for the rest of their schooling life, this will certainly provide them with opportunities like having that sport as a profession or even better job opportunities with the achievements. For example, there are still many companies currently that also evaluates the activities done outside education to offer jobs and roles to employees.

Secondly, it is really important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom, mainly for one reason, personal growth, A student will be able to grow more when his brain is focusing on activites which makes them feel joyful and happy, and playing provides this happiness in majority of the childrens. Moreover, only focusing on learning will make the children lathargic and they won't play anymore or get involve in any kind of activity if not focused during the primary school. For instance, if a child has not played in the entirity of their primary schooling they won't get interested in that in the further future easily.

In conclusion, I believe that schools nowadays are focusing on physical activities like sports to provide better opportunities for students and help the school also popularise. It is also important for children to play as well as study for better growth and stopping them from being lathargic.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree that schools focus too much on formal learning, and you also state that play is important for children. Both parts of the question are addressed, with relevant points about school reputation, students’ future opportunities and personal growth. However, the first body paragraph focuses mainly on sports and benefits to schools or students, rather than directly showing how primary schools balance formal learning with play. The example about companies assessing activities outside education is also not fully connected to primary-school classroom practice. The point that play supports happiness and engagement is relevant, but it would benefit from a specific example and fuller explanation of how play complements learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs organised with “Firstly” and “Secondly”, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow. Some links between ideas are less smooth or precise, however. For example, “One of the biggest advantages for this” does not clearly identify what “this” refers to, and the move from school popularity to students’ job opportunities could be explained more explicitly. The second paragraph also shifts quickly from personal growth to children becoming “lathargic.” To strengthen progression, make each paragraph develop one central point and use clearer references and transitions between supporting explanations and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “personal growth,” “opportunities” and “represent,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There are, however, several spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural word combinations that limit accuracy, such as “cirricullam,” “adequete,” “lathargic,” “popularise,” and “focus on physical activities to gain better opportunities.” Some wording is also repetitive, particularly the repeated references to “activities” and “opportunities.” Aim to use more precise collocations and check spelling carefully. For instance, describe how extracurricular activities “broaden students’ skills” or “support their development,” rather than relying on broad claims about popularity and opportunities.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “as,” “when” and “if,” and your meaning is usually clear. Some grammatical errors remain in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation. For example, “as majority of the schools” needs an article, while “Any student when achieves anything” has an awkward clause structure. In “companies currently that also evaluates,” the subject and verb do not agree, and the sentence beginning “Secondly” contains a comma splice after “personal growth.” There are also inconsistent sentence boundaries and capitalisation. Review these patterns and edit for complete clauses, accurate agreement and punctuation while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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