Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The topic of formal learning methods at primary schools is something that many people are talking about today. I personally believe that schools should also consider modern teaching methods as part of learning. This essay will explain why I completely agree with this development and how important it is for young students to play alongside their studies.

Regarding the first question, the main reason why I hold this point is that the new way of teaching such as presentations, quizes and assignments help children to develop analytical thinking and interpersonal skills. These skills should help them in future with their job careers. For instance, a big corporate sectors hire employee having all these skills. Thus, schools should focus on new teaching methods to provide students a best platform for development of these skills.

Turning to the second part, I believe that the effects of participitaion in sports improve the physical as well as the mental health of children in classroom. To explain further, playing physical games enhance the body strength, which helps in the development of healthy mind. A good example that proves this can seen from Aitchson junior school, where students from primary section actively participate in both the studies and physical games, and that is one of the reason why students from Aitchson have genius minds. Thats why play should be include in primary classroom with studies for children.

In conclusion, it can be said that priamry schools should include new learning methods in curriculum, and play as well. In the future,

this will lead to produce healthy and genius minds.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions and make your position clear: you support adding play alongside learning, and your conclusion restates this view. The discussion of presentations, quizzes and assignments gives a relevant reason for developing analytical and interpersonal skills, while the sports paragraph explains possible physical and mental benefits. However, the first question asks whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and your response shifts to advocating “modern teaching methods” without clearly explaining whether formal learning is excessive. Several claims are also asserted rather than developed—for example, the link between one school’s sports participation and students having “genius minds” is not convincingly supported. Clarify your view of formal learning and explain each example more carefully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two questions, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “Regarding the first question” and “Turning to the second part” help readers follow the organisation. This coherent arrangement is a strength. However, some linking is mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs is not always smooth. In the first body paragraph, the move from teaching activities to future careers and then to corporate hiring needs a clearer explanation. In the second, “To explain further” and “A good example that proves this” announce connections, but the example does not fully establish the claim. Develop the reasoning between points and use referencing and transitions more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “analytical thinking,” “interpersonal skills,” “physical games” and “mental health.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “corporate sectors” and “participate.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “job careers,” “a best platform,” “effects of participation in sports,” and “genius minds” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “quizes,” “participitaion” and “priamry” are noticeable. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling; for example, describe how play supports children’s wellbeing rather than making an unsupported claim about genius.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “the main reason why I hold this point is that…” and a subordinate clause beginning “where students…”. The overall meaning is generally understandable, but errors in sentence structure and grammatical forms recur. For example, “playing physical games enhance” needs subject–verb agreement, and “that can seen” is missing a verb form. Other examples include “a big corporate sectors hire employee” and “play should be include,” where agreement, number or verb construction is faulty. Some sentences also rely on similar patterns, so practise building accurate complex sentences and checking agreement, articles and passive forms before adding more complexity.

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