Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people debate that primary schools focus too large extent on formal education.in my opinion primary schools take good initative but instead of focus too much they also focus on some informal education which may help them in their practical life.

On the first hand,primary school should pay attention to took steps for children informal activities like playing along formal education .Primary Schools should provide tim eto children in which they are suppose to play ratherthen studying whole day.which makes children tired and due to which they cant pay attention towards their studies .these activities play a graet role in child physical health as well as its ability to learn everthing in short period of time. furhernore it is very beneficial for the childrens to playas well as laerning in the primary schools which help them to boosts their in energy in physical works as well as in academics prospectives.For example:it is explained in many studies a child learn everything by playing .so by playing a child a child can easily learn formal learning.

On the second hand,its seems to be very dangerous for child health if he is continously supposed to just learn formal learning,while this can took the child under a huge load of formal learnig which can cause him stress and disturb his health too.So in short this criteria of primary schools can snatch the ability of child learning.furthermore the child everytime feels dizziness. For example ;i have seen alot of children they are understress of formal learning and they cant find plenty of time for their pleasure activity.For example ;my younger brother cant perform such good results in his primary school .we shifted him in another school they also provide time for the pleasure activities like playing.after that we see such a great improvent in him regarding to studies.

It is concluded that if the child is provided time by schools for playing as well as learning .he will be perform well in learning and as well as physical activities.as far as in my opinion it is a great step for primary school tofacilitate the children with pleasure activites while learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by arguing that children need time for play alongside formal learning, and you give relevant reasons, including tiredness, physical health and stress. The example about your younger brother also supports your view with a personal experience. However, your position is not fully clear at the start: saying schools “take good initiative” and then discussing informal education does not directly establish how far you agree that formal learning is overemphasised. Several points, such as play helping children learn quickly, are asserted rather than explained, and the response does not clearly distinguish the value of play from the claim that schools focus too much on formal study. State your degree of agreement directly and develop fewer reasons with clearer explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs generally relate to the topic. Examples are placed near the points they illustrate, particularly the account of your brother’s improvement after changing schools. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from play time to tiredness, physical health and learning without clearly connecting each step. Linking phrases such as “On the first hand,” “On the second hand” and repeated “furthermore” are mechanical, and some references, such as “this criteria,” are unclear. Organise each body paragraph around one main reason, explain it, and then give one example. Use a wider range of accurate links and clearer references to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal education,” “physical health,” “stress” and “pleasure activities,” so the reader can identify your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes meaning harder to follow. Examples include “focus too large extent,” “took the child under a huge load,” and “boosts their in energy.” There are also frequent spelling errors, such as “initative,” “laerning” and “improvent,” which reduce clarity and control. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing education and child development, and check spelling carefully. Prefer natural collocations such as “place too much emphasis on formal learning” and “reduce academic pressure.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses explaining causes and results, as in “which makes children tired and due to which they cant pay attention.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries can make the reader work to understand your meaning. For example, “he will be perform well” has an incorrect verb construction, while “a child learn everything” lacks subject–verb agreement. Several sentences also run together or begin with lowercase letters after full stops. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly attached supporting clause. Check verb forms and agreement, and use full stops and capital letters consistently before attempting longer structures.

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