Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Education plays a significant role in every field of life. Some proponents contend that early education institutions should strongly focus on formal education rather than other informal activities. I disagree with this perspective because physical excercises help children to improve their physical and mental health. These activities also create patience in youngesters.

There are many advantages of focusing too much on formal learning. Firstly, they help to understand everything in a excellent way. They perform better in exams. To illustrate, my brother got good marks in exam by focusing on his education without involving in informal activities, he spent a lot of time in preparation, even his friends call to him for playing, he refuse them. As a result, he succeed with excellent marks. Secondly, children have good understanding ability in early ages. Some Education speciallist consider that early age of human is like the base of building. If we strong it then we develope a briliant humans in future. In conclusion, initial age of children are important fot their future prediction.

There are also many drawbacks of only formal learning. In my points of view, physical activities are also crucial as well as education for the students. They make the children healthier physical as well as mental. These informal activities far away the children from diseases. For example, WHO report said that playing is a significant for the health of children. Moreover, they stated that experimental study showed many benefits of it. They observed that many students did better perform in academics. Consequently, Playing have also importance as like education.

To sum up, some individuals think that primary schools should firmly focus on formal learning because it helps children to perform good in their assessment. According to me, informal activities such as playing are asli significant because it plays pivotal role in phsical and mental health of children

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that play is important, and you address both formal learning and classroom activities. The examples about your brother and the claimed WHO findings are relevant attempts to support your points. However, the response only partly answers the question: it does not clearly explain how much you agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and it gives limited detail about how play should be balanced with learning in the classroom. The paragraph supporting formal learning also conflicts with your opening position without explaining this distinction. Develop a consistent position and explain each main reason with a specific link to primary-school practice.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposting such as “Firstly,” “Moreover” and “To sum up” helps identify stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the discussion of exam success, early-age understanding and future development moves between points without showing how they connect to the question. The contrast between your opening disagreement and the paragraph on the advantages of focusing too much on formal learning also weakens the overall line of argument. Some linking is mechanical, and references such as “they” in “Firstly, they help” do not clearly identify what is meant. Organise each paragraph around one claim, then explain and illustrate it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “mental health” and “academics,” and you attempt more emphatic expressions such as “pivotal role.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. Examples include “create patience,” “far away the children from diseases,” and “children have good understanding ability.” Spelling errors such as “excercises,” “youngesters” and “briliant” are also noticeable. Aim for precise, natural phrases rather than adding formal-sounding words: for example, explain that play can “develop patience” or “support children’s wellbeing.” Proofreading spelling and checking collocations would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a conditional structure in “If we strong it then we develope…” and a complex example about your brother. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries occur frequently enough to make some ideas difficult to follow. For instance, “Playing have also importance” has an agreement and sentence-structure problem, while “he refuse them” and “he succeed” use incorrect verb forms. The long sentence beginning “To illustrate, my brother…” joins several clauses without clear punctuation. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and past-tense forms, and divide long sentences into shorter, complete units before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.