Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
A group of individuals believe that elementary schools involve a lot of time in formal learing. I do not agree with this assertion because nowadays schools are introducing some activities for civic sense development of studnets.Furthermore, I think it is essestial for children to play with their peers alongside learning in the classroom.
Schools are taking innovative approaches to ingrain a sense of compassion into the childern. For primary schooling, learning some good bahaviour are more important than learning fixed subjects, as this is the prime time for their mindset building. In the modern days, educational institutes are very cautious about these things. They are including some activities such as arranging play time, sharing foods, tree plantation activity, helping poor people, showing empathy towards everyone besides formal learning. Apart from this, rather than giving formal homeworks teachers are giving some tasks including preparing for school, making any video, taking pictures of the nature so that they do not feel the pressure of study at the very early age. Consequently, these are not only helping childern to have positive outlook towards further education but also teaching them to be empathetic.
Playing with friends are the most memorable time for everyone. All these plays not only helpful for one to get good friends but also teach them to be cooperative. Having a good friend is like a good lifelong asset. Friends help us to pass through the difficult situations of our lives also we can share all our feelings with good friends without feeling the pressure of being jugded. From my life, most of the good friends now I have all the those with whom I used to play in my school time. Whenever we get time to meet, we talk about our school days, how we used to spend with each other during the play time . Those playtimes taught us to be empathetic towards each other and was beneficial for our mental well being as well.
In conclusion, primary schools are now promoting inclusion of infomal civic leaning alongsilde formal education to enhance the mental gorwth of a child. On top of it, the palytime in school is equally important for a child to grow the sense of compassion and cooperation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you also state that play is important alongside classroom learning. You address both questions with relevant examples, including school activities such as sharing food and planting trees, and your personal memories of friendships formed through play. These examples make the response purposeful. However, the first part is not fully developed: the activities described are mostly social or practical learning, so explain more directly how they show that formal learning is not taking too much classroom time. The second paragraph also focuses heavily on the lifelong value of friendship, with less explanation of how play supports children’s learning in class. Developing these links would make the argument more complete and persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop related points, and a conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress from school activities to the benefits of play, and linking phrases such as “Furthermore,” “Apart from this,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. For example, the shift from school activities to homework in the first body paragraph is not fully explained, and “Consequently” introduces a result that is broader than the preceding examples establish. In the play paragraph, several sentences repeat the value of friendship without clearly advancing the point. Use references and transitions that show how each example supports the specific argument.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You attempt a range of relevant vocabulary, including “compassion,” “empathetic,” “cooperative,” and “mental well being,” and these choices help communicate your ideas about children’s social development. There are also some suitable topic phrases, such as “formal learning” and “play time.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes distract the reader: examples include “learing,” “studnets,” “essestial,” “jugded,” and “infomal civic leaning.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “ingrain a sense of compassion into the children” and “grow the sense of compassion.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, and avoid repeating broad terms such as “good” and “important” when a more precise description is available.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast structure in “rather than giving formal homeworks…” and a relative clause in “with whom I used to play.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “Playing with friends are” and “All these plays… teach,” while “learning some good behaviour are more important” also has a mismatch. There are problems with articles and sentence construction in “most of the good friends now I have all the those,” and the sentence beginning “Friends help us…” joins two independent ideas without suitable punctuation or a connector. Review agreement, article use, and sentence boundaries, then check complex sentences for a clear grammatical structure.
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