Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today's rapidly evolving world, education play crucial role in individual lives. Moreover, a group of people discuss that primary schools get more attention on the common studying. I completelly agree with this statement. This essay will articulate my own perspective along with this statement.

To commence with the primary schools should focus on formal learning. To be more precise, adults are playing game during their school time, they improve thier communication skills as well as, physical health. For example, during my school time, my teacher did the permision to play games. As a result, not only enhace my communication skills but also, improve my physical conditions, in the current time, I run 5 killometer daily. Therefore, formal studying help to students to improve communication skills and also help to enhace students physical health. In additional, every schools must be focus on general learning.

Furthermore, formal studying also help to boost student confidence. To elaborate further on this point, sports and outdoor activities, enhance students cofidence levels. For instance, In my school every years do some sports events by the school to search best students of the years. During my school time, I participened on these activity. Cosequently, I was full confidence to playing this game. As a result, boost my confidence levels, in the current time, I do not give-up in any fields.

In conclusion, education is importance part in our life, without knowledge peoples are empty. However, there are some benefits that formal education help to students such as, it's improve communication skills and physical health meanwhile, it's boost students confidence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear view—“I completely agree”—and give relevant examples involving games, sports and confidence. However, the response only minimally answers the actual questions because it repeatedly shifts from the issue of too much formal learning to the benefits of physical activities, without clearly explaining whether primary schools currently place excessive emphasis on formal study. The second question, about how important play is alongside learning in the classroom, is also not directly answered or developed. Some examples, such as running daily and taking part in a school event, are personal but their connection to the argument is not always explained. Address both questions explicitly, then develop each reason with a clear explanation of how play should balance classroom learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposting such as “Furthermore” helps indicate a new point. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first body paragraph moves from formal learning to games, communication, physical health and then back to formal study. Several linking phrases are repetitive or do not show the intended relationship, including “As a result” and “Therefore.” The conclusion also repeats earlier claims rather than bringing the argument together. Organise each paragraph around one clear main idea, use examples directly after the point they support, and make the links between cause, example and conclusion explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “communication skills,” “physical health,” “sports and outdoor activities” and “confidence.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “common studying,” “do the permision,” “participened” and “full confidence.” Repeated use of “formal studying,” “students” and “improve” also limits variety. Aim to learn accurate phrases for this topic and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise expressions such as “academic instruction,” “permission to play” and “take part in activities” would make your ideas clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer structures, including “not only … but also” and “To elaborate further on this point,” but the range is limited and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur in phrases such as “education play crucial role,” “formal studying help” and “every schools must be focus.” Articles and sentence construction are also inconsistent, while some clauses are incomplete—for example, “As a result, not only enhance my communication skills…” does not have a clear subject and verb. These errors sometimes make the intended meaning hard to follow. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses and paired structures, checking that each sentence has a complete subject and verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.