Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is thought by some individuals that primary education systems provide more effort on learning formal education. I totally agree with the argument because i believe that learning extracurricular activities such as sports, is also as crucial as formal learning.

Most of the primary schools focused more on academic curricular activities. Even though it plays a vital role to develop the critical thinking abilities of the students, but too much pressure creates stress among them. Formal education prepare a student to deal with real-world technical problems. For instance, a student can learn languages, histories of different cultures, economies and latest technologies which are very necessary for their future careers. However, always focusing on this formal learning often feel boring to the students.

On the other hand, play a game can keep children fit and healthy which must be necessay to buitd a qualitiful generation. Therefore, primary education should include extracurricular activities such as sports, dance, art into their main academic syllabus. Playing not only assists the children to keep fit physically but also prepare them mentally strong. Moreover, sports can provide students the ability of taking decisions quickly and effectively in a challeging circumstances. Furthermore, teachers can play educational game with the students to improve their abilities. For example, students can play with mathematics with their classmates in their classroom. It will definately prepare them a greater generation.

In conclusion, I am agree that at present the compulsory education systems primarily focused on academic formal learning, even though sports play a vital role for the improvement of the students to prepare themselves as a appropriate human being and for their future career as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis and argue that play and extracurricular activities matter. You address both parts of the prompt, explaining that academic study can develop critical thinking and prepare pupils for future careers, while play supports physical and mental development. The examples of sports and a classroom mathematics game are relevant. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, you say formal learning can feel boring, but do not show how play would address this or how classroom time should be balanced. The conclusion repeats your view without drawing together the main reasons. More specific explanation and development of these ideas would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for academic learning and play, and a conclusion. The contrast between the second and third paragraphs is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “On the other hand,” “Moreover,” and “For example” help signal relationships between ideas. This gives the essay a coherent progression. At times, however, connectors are used mechanically or do not fit the sentence structure, as in “Even though …, but …”; using one contrast marker would be clearer. Some references are also vague, such as “It” in “It will definitely prepare them a greater generation.” Improve cohesion by making references explicit and linking each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “critical thinking abilities,” “real-world … problems,” “future careers,” and “physically” and “mentally.” These choices show an attempt to discuss education and child development beyond very basic terms. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, word forms, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make meaning less clear. Examples include “provide more effort on learning formal education,” “academic curricular activities,” “necessay,” “qualitiful,” and “challeging circumstances.” Some phrases, such as “prepare them a greater generation,” are difficult to interpret. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling and word forms carefully; more precise phrasing will help you express your relevant ideas with less ambiguity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession clause beginning “Even though” and sentences with “which” and “not only … but also.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main message is generally understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction recur. For example, “Most of the primary schools focused” shifts into the past tense, while “Formal education prepare” has a subject–verb agreement error. “I am agree” and “Playing … prepare them” also show problems with verb forms and agreement. In “Even though …, but …,” the clause structure is faulty. Practise checking each sentence’s subject and verb, and build complex sentences with one clear grammatical pattern at a time.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.