Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, many people consider in the schools formal learning meathod is over considering. I am admit this notion, I have a strong substains insteded of class rooms of primary school student gain much knowledge in play ground or park.

May be many people make objection on it but I have stronger points. In the childhood age, childs do not need to learn many thing because that time is growming their mentality. first there mental is impotant to understand other opinion and may other thing, I learned a study where two groups of chillds take part in it one focus on class room study and other foucs on play ground study, the second group that study in play ground with playing, they have a confidence to ask anything with their teacher and they easily understand anything with playing.

There are many benefits for student well being if they part both acadmic and entertainment activeties, these inhance the mental and physical relaxcation and also give a confidence to understand the time mangement. In may schools in pakistan, they do not have play grounds because they follow the old learning meathods, many time we heared news due to study pressur student try to end his life, that was only happend due to this study method.

In conclusion, with all of the details I think so it is very tuff for students to under stand formal learing meathood, many nations follow new acrivities but fact is that many do not ready to leave old larning skills

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You give a clear overall view that primary pupils should have opportunities to play as well as study, and you address both formal learning and the value of play. The example comparing children who learn in classrooms with those who learn through play is relevant, as is your point about confidence and wellbeing. However, some ideas are asserted rather than explained: the claim that children “do not need to learn many thing” is unclear, and the reference to student suicides needs careful explanation of how excessive academic pressure relates to your argument. The response would be stronger if you directly stated how much you agree and developed a balanced explanation of how play can complement, rather than replace, formal learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Ideas are generally grouped by topic: the second paragraph discusses learning through play, while the next focuses on wellbeing and school facilities. Basic links such as “In the childhood age” and “In conclusion” help signal movement between points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, and several connections are unclear—for example, the shift from classroom confidence to the claim that children do not need to learn many things. The conclusion repeats the general position but does not clearly summarise the reasons. Use clearer topic sentences and explain how each example supports the main argument; vary linking phrases and make references between ideas more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “confidence,” “well being,” “study pressure” and “time management.” These choices show an effort to discuss education and its effects, but inaccurate spelling and word choice frequently make the message harder to understand. Examples include “meathod,” “substains,” “growming,” “activeties” and “relaxcation.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “make objection on it” and “under stand formal learing meathood.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common word partnerships, such as “raise an objection,” “academic pressure” and “participate in activities.” A more precise vocabulary range would help you express your ideas without relying on repeated general words such as “thing” and “many.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a comparison between two groups of children and a sentence beginning “because.” This shows some willingness to use varied structures. However, errors in sentence formation, verb forms, agreement, articles and punctuation sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “I am admit this notion” has an incorrect verb form, while “childs do not need to learn many thing” has agreement and plural errors. The long sentence beginning “I learned a study where two groups…” also needs clearer clause structure and punctuation. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then connect them with subordinate clauses. Pay particular attention to subject–verb agreement, plural nouns and complete sentence boundaries.

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