Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, it is argued by few individuals that primary institudes give more emphasise on formal learning. On the other hand, some people think that playing games are also necessary for children in the primary classroom. Physical games play a vital role in child's growth and mind freshness. I disagree with this statement because games play a key role in children life.

On the one hand, some people believe that focus only on studies are more beneficial for children.Firstly, in primary schools they gave more attention on studies because they want student to become a topper. For example, they think that if students concentrate only on studies thay will able get higher grades in real exams. Secondly, focus only on studies can help children to get a good job in future. For example, if student do only studies so they get good marks and more chance to get white colar job.

On the other hand. few people think that games are also more crucial with studies.For example, if a students concentrate only on studies so they can suffer from depression and other brain disease. Games can help children to stay physically fit and healthy and also help them to make mind fresh. For example, if do 1 hour study daily at home and paly cricket with friends for 30 minutes daily so they stay healthy and fit.

In conclusion, both are beneficial for children but it depends on many different factors.From my perspective, I strongly believe that games are also very crucial for children because they help them to stay fit and healthy and also make mind fresh.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear view that play is important, especially in the opening and conclusion, and you provide relevant reasons such as physical fitness, mental freshness and the risk of stress from studying alone. However, the response only partly addresses the question. The prompt asks whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, but your position is not consistently clear: you say “I disagree with this statement” after describing the importance of games, while later presenting the case for study-only learning without clearly evaluating it. The examples about grades, jobs and playing cricket are relevant but brief and general. To strengthen the response, state your position precisely and explain how classroom play should balance formal learning, using more developed examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the change in viewpoint, and the conclusion returns to the importance of games. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear or repetitive: several points are introduced with “For example” without enough explanation of how they support the main claim. The opening also moves quickly between the debate and your position, making the argument difficult to follow. Some linking is mechanical, and punctuation around transitions is inconsistent, as in “On the other hand.” Improve cohesion by giving each paragraph one clear purpose, linking each example explicitly to its point, and using references such as “this approach” to avoid repeating “studies” and “games.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “physically fit,” “depression” and “higher grades.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less natural. Examples include “primary institudes,” “more emphasise,” “mind freshness,” “white colar job” and “brain disease.” Repetition of “games,” “studies,” “children” and “healthy and fit” also restricts precision. Aim to learn common academic collocations and check spelling and word forms. For instance, you could describe play as supporting “mental well-being” and say that schools “place too much emphasis on” formal instruction. More precise vocabulary would make your reasoning clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional structures such as “if students concentrate only on studies…” and a contrast between the two sides of the argument. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, agreement, articles and verb forms. For example, “playing games are” should use a singular verb, while “they gave more attention” does not fit the present-tense discussion. Phrases such as “if do 1 hour study daily” are incomplete, and “a students” has incorrect number agreement. Punctuation and spacing also need attention, particularly around sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, then add subordinate clauses only when you can control their grammar.

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