Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays a huge discussion is been going on the education that is been given to the students studying in the primary schools. However, there are some group of individuals argue on the topic of formal learning that many schools mainly focuses on they think that it is important. On the other hand, there are some group of individuals think that playing in addition with the formal education is also important. In this case I partially agree with both of the given statements.In this essay I will discuss both the views followed by my opinion and the examples.

In this current time education is one of the most important things that children should focus on and in this some individuals think that schools play an important role in helping students achiving this as it leads to positive development of the children. Firstly, schools focusing on giving good education helps students decide their future goles as they get an idea how to achive it. For instance, in my school many activities related to formal learning where conducted which helped me in deciding my subject for my higher education. Secondly, this also results in helping children gaining knowledge of different fields which prepares them well facing every life situation. For example, I attented an event related to economics in my school which helped me learn about how the banking system works.

On the other hand, some individuals believe that in addition to the formal learning playing is also important as they consider that it is linked to the physical development of the children there are many reasons to it. Firstly, physical training helps children to stay physically active it is considered as a good sign for the body to function properly. For instance, my friend studied under sports quota so he was focused more on sports according to him being physically active helped him in increasing his thinking abilities. Secondly, by playing sports it helps student to master their planning and execution skills.

In my opinion, I would say both perspectives are correct as both of the fields formal education as well as physical activities are important as it plays a huge role in their own way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and give a clear, balanced position in the introduction and conclusion: you say you “partially agree” and that formal education and physical activities both matter. The body paragraphs offer relevant support, including your experience of school activities and your friend’s sports participation. However, the response focuses more on why education and play are beneficial than on whether primary schools currently place too much emphasis on formal learning. The claim that formal learning helps children choose future goals is also not fully explained, and the final paragraph largely repeats your position rather than developing it. To strengthen the response, directly assess the amount of formal instruction in primary schools and explain how classroom play can complement it, using more specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for formal learning and play, and a concluding opinion. “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” help signal the sequence of ideas, and the examples generally follow the points they support. However, some links feel mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs is occasionally unclear. For example, “there are many reasons to it” does not clearly introduce the reasons that follow, while the opening paragraph repeats “some group of individuals” and shifts between views before stating your position. The conclusion is very brief and does not draw the discussion together. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example explicitly to the question, and make the contrast between formal learning and play more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of education-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical development,” “banking system,” and “planning and execution skills.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and you attempt some more specific expressions rather than relying only on basic terms. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “a huge discussion is been going on,” “future goles,” and “helps student to master.” Repeated use of “important,” “helps,” and “individuals” also limits flexibility. Improve precision by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling and word forms. For example, describe a discussion as “taking place,” say “future goals,” and use “develop planning and execution skills.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “as,” “which,” and “that,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation occur across the response. Examples include “is been going on,” “there are some group … argue,” “schools mainly focuses,” and “where conducted.” Some sentences also run together, as in “In this case I partially agree … statements.In this essay,” and the final body paragraph contains a long sentence without clear punctuation. Practise forming accurate present and past-tense clauses, checking subject–verb agreement, and separating complete sentences. Greater control of these patterns would make your varied sentence attempts clearer and more reliable.

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