Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people belive that primary schools foucs too much of formal learning which is actullay beneficial for students as now a days study belivves that students can pick things more quickily then by reading performimg the topic is more easy way for students to learn things quickly. they also learns stills other than reading from books.

On the other hand formals study plays and very important role as students learning. normal study is carying few same subjects like Maths, English, Physics and Science etc. but they don't focus on students creativity and because of same subjects and same way of teachings students loses intrust in studies so its better way of engageing students with studies is to add formal learning.

Also on other hand play is also important for childrens learning. by adding acitivites and games the students get more intrust and it akso improve there mental credibility and motivate them to learn more. the games related to educations can help primary school childrens to learn quickly and they also stays thir in there mind for long time. schools should orgnise different kind of sessions and comptations for students related to there studies and levels. there can be different kind of spelling comptation, sports related comptation, and also realted to arts. Arts perfoms majior role in peimary school students that they can explor more creative part of student.

Primary schools should creat more opportunities for students so they can have more focus on there studies and formals learning should be part of are learning exprinnce at learn quick and it is benift for students to explore there creative side. games shoukd be also be the part of their every day learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by discussing formal study and the value of play, and your position appears to be that classroom learning should include both. Relevant examples include educational games, spelling competitions, sports and art activities. However, the extent of your agreement is not stated clearly: the opening suggests formal learning is beneficial, while later paragraphs criticise its narrow focus, so the reader must infer your overall view. Several points are also under-developed. For example, you say games improve children’s “mental credibility” and help learning last longer, but do not explain how or give a specific example. State your position directly in the introduction and develop each main reason with a clear explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable paragraph structure: an introduction, discussion of formal study, a paragraph on play, and a conclusion. This gives the reader some organisation, and the final paragraph returns to the main topic. However, progression between ideas is often unclear. The opening sentence is difficult to follow, and transitions such as “On the other hand” and “Also on other hand” are repetitive or do not clearly show the relationship between points. Some ideas within paragraphs are loosely connected, particularly the list of subjects followed by comments about creativity and teaching methods. Use a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph, connect each example to its main point, and use fewer, more precise linking expressions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “creativity,” “activities,” “educational games,” and “competitions.” These choices help communicate the general subject and show attempts to discuss learning in different ways. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are inaccurate or difficult to understand, such as “mental credibility,” “normal study,” and “formal learning should be part of are learning exprinnce.” Spelling errors are also frequent, including “belive,” “foucs,” and “intrust,” which can slow the reader and obscure meaning. Build a more accurate set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling carefully; choose familiar, precise wording rather than attempting phrases whose meaning is unclear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including sentences joined with “because” and “so,” and you use some clauses to explain effects, as in the point that games can help children learn. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and punctuation sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “they also learns” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “students loses intrust” has a similar agreement problem. The opening sentence runs several ideas together without clear sentence boundaries, and “Primary schools should creat more opportunities for students so they can have more focus” is awkwardly constructed. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking agreement and punctuation.

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