Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that elementary schools focus more on formal learning. In my opinion, this is not true. In primary schools, extra-curricular acitivities are given equal importance to formal education. It is crucial for students to have other activities along with formal education. This will lead to development of confidence and other important skills.

In Primary schools, the students are given a lot of opputunities to participate. However, this trend changes when they reach high school beacuse there is more burden of studies, but in primary school pupil are encourged to participate in arts and sports competitions. These activities help them in choosing different path in future. In most countries, apart from these activities there are special classes for learning different languages. These kinds of activities are really helpful.

The importance of all these activities cannot be denied. Most of the successful artists and sportsmen developed their interest from participation in activities arranged in their schools. One of the major role that extra-curricular activities play include building confidence in children. If children are not exposed to other activities they will not be able to build basic skills. Children involvement in such kind of activities help them thrive in various situation in future. Many elementry schools in Pakistan regularly organize events and encourage students to participate in them. This help to boost their moral and confidence. Not only these activities boost confidence and help in skill development but they also make pupil learn indirectly.

To conclude, Some people argue that primary schools focus mainly on formal education, but reality is completely opposite. Primary schools focus both on formal studies and extra curricular activities because these activities are beneficial for childern and help them excel in their future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you explain that activities such as arts, sports and language classes also matter. You address both the balance of learning and activities and the value of play-related participation, with relevant points about confidence and skills. The example of schools in Pakistan adds useful support. However, the second part of the question—how important it is for children to play as well as learn in the classroom—is not explored as fully as the general benefits of extracurricular activities. Some claims, such as activities helping children choose a future path, would be stronger with a specific explanation or example. Develop this classroom-focused point more directly and qualify broad claims to strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs explain participation and its benefits, and the conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress from the role of activities to their effects on children, and linking phrases such as “However,” “One of the major role” and “To conclude” help signal relationships. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement. At times, though, the progression is repetitive: confidence and skill development are mentioned several times, while the distinction between classroom play and extracurricular events remains unclear. Some references, such as “These activities” and “This help,” could point more precisely to the preceding idea. Organise one paragraph around play within lessons and use clearer references to improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “participate,” “confidence,” “skill development” and “thrive.” These choices communicate your main ideas, and phrases such as “building confidence” show an attempt to use topic-related collocations. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “activities,” “help” and “important,” and some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “choosing different path in future” and “Children involvement.” Spelling errors—including “acitivities,” “oppurtunities,” “beacuse” and “elementry”—also reduce accuracy and can distract the reader. Build a wider set of precise terms for play-based learning and personal development, and proofread spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple statements and some longer structures, including the contrast beginning “However, this trend changes…” and the conditional “If children are not exposed to other activities…”. Most of the meaning remains understandable, but grammatical control is uneven. For example, “in primary school pupil are encouraged” has a number-agreement problem, “One of the major role … include” has errors in agreement and sentence structure, and “Children involvement … help them” needs a possessive form and a matching verb. There are also issues with articles and plurals, as in “choosing different path.” Practise checking subject–verb agreement, singular and plural forms, and sentence boundaries. More accurate complex sentences would help you express relationships between play, learning and development.

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