Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, some people believe that primary education should prioritize structured academic learning. This essay will discuss about the formal learning before arguing that informal learning plays important role in learning, practical activities are equally vital for ypung children.

On the one hand, formal learning builds core academic fundamentals and self-discipline. Learning subjects like reading , writing prepare individual for secondary education. Structured education and classrooms discipline boost student'a confidence and time management For instance basic learning from formal studies prepared them for all future learning.

On the other hand, the burden of formal learning can lead to stress, boredom, and lack of creative skills. While

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response is only a minimal attempt at the task and does not fully answer either question. It introduces formal learning and mentions that practical activities are important, but the position on whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning is not clearly established or sustained. The first body paragraph gives brief points about academic foundations and discipline, with only a general example; the second begins to mention stress and boredom but stops before explaining the point or addressing how important play is. The response is also substantially below the required minimum length, leaving the ideas unsupported and the task incomplete. To improve, state your degree of agreement clearly, answer both questions, and develop each reason with explanation and a relevant example before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction is followed by paragraphs signposted with “On the one hand” and “On the other hand.” This gives the reader an initial sense of contrasting views. However, progression is limited because the second body paragraph ends abruptly at “While,” and there is no conclusion to bring the argument together. The introduction also promises a discussion but does not clearly map out the position. Some links between ideas are unclear, particularly the move from formal learning to confidence and time management in the first body paragraph. Develop complete paragraphs around one main point each, use linking phrases to show cause and contrast, and finish with a concise conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “structured academic learning,” “core academic fundamentals,” “self-discipline,” and “creative skills.” These choices show an attempt to discuss education beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited by the short response, and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce naturalness: “formal learning before arguing,” “classrooms discipline,” “student'a confidence,” and “ypung children.” “Practical activities” is relevant but could be made more precise by naming play, group tasks, or hands-on learning. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling carefully. A broader set of terms for play-based learning and its benefits would also help you express the argument more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and a more complex contrast, as in “While” introducing a dependent clause, but that clause is left unfinished. Several sentences contain grammatical errors that make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “Learning subjects like reading, writing prepare individual for secondary education” has problems with the subject and verb structure, while “Structured education and classrooms discipline boost…” lacks a clear grammatical relationship between its nouns. The opening phrase “This essay will discuss about” also uses an incorrect verb pattern. Most sentences are short and follow similar patterns, so there is little evidence of controlled variety. Practise complete sentences, subject–verb agreement, articles, and combining clauses accurately; then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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