Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent times, parents are giving statements on schools, that school is more focused towards giving knowledge on studies rather than encouraging students to participate in sports. However, these situations affects on child's development in career growth, and children needs balanced advices in their life, which is mostly given in schools. So, it is important to support them in both, studies and sports. Also, I agree with the parents to raise a concern about this, and I will discuss views with an example in the below paragraph.

Initially, students are forced to grow in the learning sector. The foremost reason is a generational gap between advisors (teacher or professor) and students. Nowadays, teachers mostly teach theoritical knowledge, and do not know about actual need for pupils. For example, in India mainly school teachers are elders, and in their time, they do not had any facilities or providence for sports. Thus, their mindset prepared in the same wa that children only have to focus on studies more than playing games. Also, they will not encourage students to follow a career as a sportsman. As a result, children do not get any support or engagements from schools, they ended up by only studying.

Regarding importance on balancing both the aspects, the main advantage which children will get is, physical fitness with mind development. For example, in science research, it is being said that, a kid who equalize his life by studying, while practicing sports does lives peaceful life than others kids who only focused on learning. There are also a small benefits of it, such as freedom of life, low pressure on mind, enjoying childhood, creativity etc. As a result, it is perfect way to let them do both the things.

At the end, I agree with the parents, who are concerned about the situation on schools nowadays, and as both things are important for students to follow their career freely.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions and maintain a clear position: you agree that schools give too much emphasis to academic study and argue that children need both learning and sport. The discussion of teachers’ attitudes in India and the benefits of physical activity is relevant. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that older teachers’ lack of sporting facilities shaped their attitudes could be linked more clearly to how schools’ classroom priorities affect children. The example about research and a child living a “peaceful life” is also vague and would be stronger with a specific, credible explanation. Develop these ideas and explain more directly how play belongs in the classroom, not only sport generally.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs addressing the main issues, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Initially,” “Regarding,” and “At the end” help signal the stages of your argument. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear, and the conclusion introduces little beyond the earlier points. In the first body paragraph, the move from teachers’ generational gap to children receiving no support would benefit from a more explicit explanation. References such as “these situations” and “both things” are also imprecise, so readers must infer what they refer to. Use clearer links between cause and effect, and make each paragraph’s central point explicit before adding its example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “generational gap,” “physical fitness,” “mind development,” and “creativity.” These choices help communicate your main ideas, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, inaccurate word choice and collocation are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less natural: “giving statements on schools,” “facilities or providence for sports,” and “freedom of life” do not express the intended ideas clearly. There are also word-form and spelling problems, such as “theoritical” and “engagements.” Aim for precise, natural combinations rather than translating phrases directly. For example, use “emphasis on academic learning” and “opportunities to participate in sport.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including cause-and-effect structures with “Thus” and “As a result,” and a relative clause in “which is mostly given in schools.” However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur across the response. Examples include “these situations affects,” “children needs,” “they do not had,” and “a kid who equalize his life.” Some long sentences also become difficult to follow, particularly the opening sentence and the final sentence, which lacks a complete, clear structure. Work on matching subjects and verbs, using consistent verb forms, and checking sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these patterns would make your argument easier to read.

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