Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

IN MANY COUNTRIES, PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT PRIMARY SCHOOLS SHOULD FOCUS ON FORMAL LEARNING. WHILE OTHERS ARGUE THAT PEOPLE SHOULD PLAY AND LEARN IN THE PRIMARY SCHOOLS. I STRONGALLY AGREE THAT YOUNGSTERS SHOULD PLAY AND FOCUS ON ACADEMICS WHICH HELPS THEM TO BE MOTIVATED.

ON THE ONE HAND, PRIMARY SCHOOLS SHOULD PROVIDE CULTURAL ACTIVITIES APART FROM ACADEMICS. THIS LEADS YOUNGSTERS TO LEARN MORE FOCUSILY. IF THEY INTRODUCE CULTURAL ACTIVITIES STUDENTS CAN COME TO SCHOOL REGULARLY AND LISTEN CLASS ATTENTIVELY. FOR INSTANCE, SCHOOLS ARE THE FIRST LEARNERS OF STUDENTS. THEY LEARN AND ACQUIRE KNOWLEDGE EFFECTIVELY. IN ADDITION, SCHOOLS SHOULD GIVE CHILDREN SPORTS KNOWLEDGE AT YOUNG AGE. THIS WILL HELP THEM TO PROGRESS MORE AND GETS MOTIVATION TO BE FIT. FORMAL LEARNING JUST HELP TO PROVIDE MENTAL KNOWLEDGE WHERE SPORTS PLAYS CRUCIAL ROLE IN THEIR LIFE. SUCH AS SPORTS EVENTS HELPS STUDENTS TO PARTICIPATE TO WIN.

ON THE OTHER HAND, PRIMARY SCHOOLS SHOULD PROVIDE BOTH EDUCATION AND EFFECTIVE ACTIVITIES WHICH HELPS THEM TO ACHIEVE THEIR DESIRED GOALS. THEY SHOULD PROVIDE DIGITAL CLASSROOMS WHICH WILL IMPROVED THE UNDERSTANDING OF EDUCATION. FOR EXAMPLE, STUDENTS AT YOUNGER AGE CAN ADAPT MULTIPLE TASKS EASILY. ALTHOUGH LEARNING AND PLAYING SPORTS CAN SECURE BEST GRADES IN ACADEMICS. ELEMANTARY SCHOOLS SHOULD IMPLEMENT THESE CHANGES REGULARLY IN WHICH LEARNERS WILL ATTEND CLASSES REGULAR. SCHOOLS SHOULD IMPLEMENT AND ENCOURAGE STUDENTS FOR PLAYING SO THEY CAN PLAY FEARLESSLY.

IN CONCLUSION, PROPER EDUCATION AND MORE PLAYING TIME WILL HELP THE STUDENTS TO ACQUIRE MORE KNOWLEDGE EFFECTIVELY. THEY SHOULD INTRODUCE OTHER CULTURAL ACTIVITIES SUCH AS SPORTS EVENTS, PAINTING, ARTS. THIS HELPS TO GET MOTIVATED TAKING CARE OF THEIR HEALTH.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear general view that children should combine academic learning with play, and you mention several relevant forms of activity, including sports, painting and arts. However, the response only partially develops the task: it does not directly explain how much you agree that schools currently focus too heavily on formal learning, and the distinction between your position and the opposing view is unclear in the opening. Some supporting points, such as digital classrooms and attending regularly, are not clearly connected to the importance of play. Develop a few relevant reasons in more detail—for example, how play supports social skills, concentration or wellbeing—and add a specific example to show why a balance is valuable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. You also use signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion.” However, the paragraphs do not build a clear line of reasoning: the first body paragraph moves from cultural activities to attendance, sports and competition, while the second introduces digital classrooms without explaining their relationship to play. Some linking phrases are used mechanically, and references such as “This” in the conclusion do not clearly identify which idea they refer to. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on. Use transitions to show the actual relationship between ideas rather than simply marking a new section.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “cultural activities,” “sports events” and “digital classrooms,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are unnatural or unclear, such as “learn more focusily,” “sports knowledge,” “get motivation” and “secure best grades.” Spelling errors, including “strongally” and “elemantary,” also reduce accuracy. Aim to use familiar words precisely rather than forcing unusual forms, and learn common collocations for education and child development. For example, you could describe play as helping children “stay engaged” or “develop social skills,” then use those phrases consistently and accurately in your supporting points.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple sentences and longer clauses, including conditional structures such as “If they introduce cultural activities…” and a concession beginning “Although…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement and verb forms occur frequently. Examples include “sports plays,” “activities which helps,” “which will improved” and “schools… attend classes regular.” Articles and sentence construction also need attention, as in “at young age” and the incomplete or awkwardly connected “Although learning and playing sports can secure best grades in academics.” Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, correct agreement, and a complete main clause. Shorter, accurate sentences will make your ideas easier to follow while you build control of more complex forms.

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