Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, the formal learning for children has become an important factor in the primary schools. Therefore, some individuals argue that primary schools concentrate too much on formal learning which is an important factor to learn core concepts in primary schools. In my opinion, formal learning is important to gain knowledge, but play is also an utmost factor for the grooming of children.

On the one hand, the primary schools which focus on formal learning disturb the mental health of children. Only focus on study creates stress on children. They become bore due to studying same thing every time and show lose of interest in studies. The formal learning kills creativity, because bookish knowledge destroys natural curiosity. So, just focusing on the formal learning made child limited.

On the other hand, it is very important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. The group games and tasks make co-ordination among students and teamwork. Games like puzzle or building blocks increase their logical thinking and capability of mind. Moreover, the participation in the games boost the confidence of children to learn from the mistakes and work on their weaknesses. Physical games also play a pivotal role in the health of the children.

In conclusion, I would say that formal learning is important but we can't deny the crucial role of games in children life. So, a balanced approach is needed in primary schools for formal learning and plays. Structured learning and play-based activities combine make a child socially and logically strong.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you value formal learning but argue that play is also essential, and you address both questions. Relevant points include stress and reduced creativity from an excessive focus on study, alongside teamwork, logical thinking, confidence and physical health through play. However, several points are asserted rather than explained with specific examples, and the discussion of why schools focus too much on formal learning is brief. The conclusion restates your view but adds little development. The response contains 244 words, so it is six words below the required minimum; the 13 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Develop one or two examples further and ensure the response meets the minimum.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present contrasting points, and a conclusion summarises your position. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow this structure. However, some connections between ideas are mechanical, and the first body paragraph moves quickly from stress to boredom, loss of creativity and limited development without showing how these points relate. The opening also repeats “important factor” and “primary schools,” which weakens progression. Use clearer links between claims and explanations, and make references such as “just focusing on the formal learning” more precise so the reader can follow the argument smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “core concepts,” “natural curiosity,” “logical thinking,” “teamwork” and “pivotal role.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the meaning is generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “utmost factor,” “grooming of children,” “show lose of interest” and “capability of mind.” Repetition of “formal learning,” “children” and “important” also limits flexibility. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and check word forms and collocations; for example, describe play as “essential to children’s development” and say that pupils “lose interest in their studies.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “formal learning is important to gain knowledge, but play is also…” and the explanation beginning “because bookish knowledge…”. The overall meaning can usually be followed, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. Examples include “Only focus on study creates stress,” “They become bore,” “the participation in the games boost,” and “Structured learning and play-based activities combine make a child…”. These errors sometimes make the reader pause. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and checking each sentence for a complete, correctly formed clause; this will help you express your ideas more reliably while retaining varied structures.

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