Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many people arguing that primary schools are focsuing too much on formal learning. I agree with the statement because students will get distract from thier studies if they participate in any play or in any sports. However, schools should provide small break in between schools and also allow children's to play.

First of all, from constant formal learning children may get bored also sometimes loose their interest in their studies beacuse of the too much pressure of formal learning and following same schedule and also spending most of the time in their books. To avoid this type of issues primary schools should organise variety of sports to play and also plan small vaccations or picinis for their children's to hold their focus on their studies.

Second of all, formal learning is also important at the same time it will give different career opportunities and also provide knowledge, experience and student's may become more intelligent if they taught formal learning in their primary schools.Another benefit of formal learning is that students can write long essays without even thinking and hunting for words.Formal learning is essential and beneficial in the future.

In conclusion, parents argue about constant focus on formal learning they also wnat their children to play and enjoy school environment but formal learning is more important then playing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a position, stating that formal learning is more important, and you recognise that children also need opportunities to play. The points about boredom, pressure and maintaining interest are relevant, but they are only briefly explained; for example, the suggestion of sports and outings is not linked clearly to how play supports learning. Your discussion also gives mixed signals: the opening says play distracts students, while the first body paragraph argues that it can help them stay focused. The benefits of formal learning, such as career opportunities and knowledge, are asserted rather than supported with a specific example. The response is 32 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to address both questions fully. Develop a consistent position and explain each main point with an example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Second of all” and “In conclusion” help the reader identify the stages of your argument. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes unclear because several points are joined together without showing their relationship. For instance, the first body paragraph moves from boredom and pressure to sports and vacations in one long sentence. The contrast between the opening claim that play distracts students and the later claim that it helps maintain focus also weakens the overall line of argument. Use clearer links to show cause and effect, and make each paragraph develop one central idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the general discussion, including “formal learning,” “career opportunities,” “sports” and “school environment.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “constant formal learning” and “variety of sports.” However, the range is limited and some word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which makes parts of the response less clear. Examples include “hold their focus,” “small vacations” and “hunting for words”; these do not express the intended ideas naturally in this context. Spelling errors such as “focsuing,” “beacuse” and “picinis” are also noticeable. Build a more precise vocabulary for describing play-based learning and check spelling and common word combinations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a reason clause in “because students will get distract…” and a sentence beginning “To avoid this type of issues…”. However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “Many people arguing” needs a finite verb, while “students will get distract” has an incorrect verb form. There are also problems with articles, plurals and agreement, as in “provide small break” and “allow children's to play.” The sentence about formal learning and career opportunities contains several ideas joined without clear grammatical structure. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then add subordinate clauses and check verb forms, articles and plural nouns.

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