Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, education plays an important role from a young age.Therefore, a large number of individuals believe that schools should start focusing on them from primary schools. I partially agree with this view as although education needs to be included in educational programs for child future success, playing games is also a crucial part for the development of a child.

On the one hand, with the help of formal learning students can get a easy path to their success. As learning gives a way to child to choose their favourite hobbies and subjects which will benfit them in their future. For example, if a child is interested in sciences their are more of them to become a doctor and eventually it leads them to a succesful life.Moreover, early learning will encourage them in thinking critically.It helps them to improve their reading and writing skills, which could help them while learning difficult subjects in higher education. This improves their memory skills and focusing well on subjects from a young age. Therefore, as they grow older they will not face any difficulty while taking higher education.

On the other hand, some people believe that it could affect their mental health negatively. If pressure is put on them at young age the chances of anxiety and depression will increase significantly.The pressure of academic subjects are beyond of their abilities, as some subjects are difficult for children. Moreover, the stress of homework and exams can be challenging for them as well.Additonally, the role of games cannot be replaced by anything, it helps them to be healthy. It also teaches them several skills such as teamwork, problem-solving and helps them in making new friends. These skills also play an important role in child life and this cannot be taught to them with the help of books.

All in all, it can be concluded that although learning formal subjects are important, the role of games cannot be replaced. Therefore, primary schools should keep a balance in both of them and should them both formal subjects and games as both are important in the development of a child.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you partially agree that formal learning matters, while arguing that play is also essential. You address both parts of the prompt by discussing the benefits of early academic learning and explaining how games support health, teamwork, problem-solving, and friendships. The example of a child interested in science becoming a doctor helps illustrate one point. However, some claims are broad or not fully explained—for instance, the link between early learning and avoiding difficulty in higher education needs clearer support. The discussion of play is more developed around social and emotional benefits than around how play should be included in classroom learning. To strengthen the response, explain your examples further and connect each point directly to the balance primary schools should provide.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression from benefits of formal learning to the value of play is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “All in all” help readers navigate the argument. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement. However, some linking is mechanical, with repeated use of “Moreover” and “Therefore,” and several ideas are placed together without a smooth connection. For example, the first body paragraph moves from career choices to critical thinking, memory, and higher education in quick succession. Use more varied transitions and make the relationship between each supporting point explicit; clearer referencing would also help avoid repeated references to “them” and “it.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “critical thinking,” “anxiety,” “teamwork,” and “problem-solving.” These terms show an attempt to discuss education and child development beyond very basic language. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or awkward, which limits precision: “a easy path to their success,” “the pressure of academic subjects are beyond of their abilities,” and “the role of games cannot be replaced by anything” do not sound natural. There are also spelling errors such as “benfit,” “succesful,” and “Additonally.” Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully. More precise phrasing would make your ideas clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “although education needs to be included…” and conditional structures such as “If pressure is put on them…”. Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include missing or incorrect articles in “from a young age” and “at young age,” subject–verb agreement in “The pressure … are,” and sentence-boundary problems in “successful life.Moreover” and “significantly.The pressure.” There are also awkward clause constructions, such as “as learning gives a way to child to choose.” Work on articles, agreement, and punctuation, and revise complex sentences to ensure each clause is grammatically complete. Greater accuracy across these structures would make the writing more controlled.

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