Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary schools give too much heed on formal learning while ignoring the vocational skills . In my perspective , primary schools are paying too much focus on curriculum through trained teachers and schools and colleges and universities . As a result , such institutions produce robots not students .

To begin with , primary schools do not promote sports or physical activity or they even dont encourage students to take part in some type of sports . Students spend most of their time in completing their vast and lenghty syllabus . In this regard the example of pakistan is evedent . In pakistan most of the primary schools do not want to initiate sports .

Addmittedly , there are plentyof factors behind this issue . First of all , most of the schools are running out of budget . when they dont have enough resources to initiate sports at their schools then how sports can be promoted . For instance , in afghanistan most of the primary schools dont have enough budget to put on the extra curriculum activity .

In addition , teachers do not want to introduce extra curriculum at primary level and argue that such initiatives should be introduce at university levels .

As for as the importance of sports in primary school is concerned , I am an ardent supporter of it . In my observation , allow students to play and learn in primary school classroom will leave lasting impact on their mental helath .. There are examples of scandinavian countries where they dont put burden on student for study rather they teach students with some recreational activity . Such method will not only make learning easy but also a source of enjoyment for students .

In summation , primary schools give too much focus on formal education and ignoring etra curriculum activities .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions and maintain a clear view that primary schools give too much emphasis to formal study and that play should be included. The discussion of limited sports provision, school budgets and teachers’ attitudes is relevant, and the reference to Scandinavian teaching methods supports your view. However, the first question is not explored in much depth: you assert that schools focus heavily on the syllabus, but give limited explanation of what formal learning displaces or why this imbalance matters. The second question is answered more directly through the benefits to children’s mental health and enjoyment, though these benefits could be explained with a specific example. Develop the reasons behind your claims more fully to make the response more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has an overall structure: an opening position, paragraphs about limited sports provision and its causes, a paragraph on the value of play, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “In addition,” and “In summation” help signal the stages of the argument. However, some connections are mechanical, and the paragraph beginning “Admittedly” shifts to causes without clearly linking them to the preceding point. The relationship between sports and the broader idea of play-based classroom learning could also be made clearer. Some references, such as “such initiatives,” require the reader to infer exactly what is meant. Use more precise links between claims and examples, and organise each paragraph around one clearly developed point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “syllabus,” “resources,” “recreational activity,” and “lasting impact.” These choices make your main ideas understandable, and phrases such as “produce robots not students” show an attempt to express your criticism vividly. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “give too much heed on,” “paying too much focus,” and “extra curriculum activity.” Spelling errors such as “lenghty,” “evedent,” and “Addmittedly” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural academic collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, use “place too much emphasis on formal learning” and “extracurricular activities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional question about school resources and a contrast introduced by “rather.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main message is generally understandable. However, errors in sentence construction and verb forms recur. For example, “allow students to play and learn … will leave” needs a grammatical subject such as “allowing students to play and learn … will leave,” while “such initiatives should be introduce” needs a passive form, “should be introduced.” There are also problems with articles, agreement and punctuation, as in “at their schools” and the double full stop after “health.” Practise accurate clause construction and review verb forms and sentence punctuation.

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