Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Most of the individuals believe that primary schools education focus too much on the formal learning .

But i think that it is too much crucial for childern to paly games as well as learn in primary school classrooms because in a primary school the age of student is almost about 5years to 10 years .

if a children learn how to play as well as studies i will be best think for him or her .

Such a physical activities are aslo to much important for a child

such a child who knows how to paly any game and if he have intrest in that he will become a good player in future and aslo many things gto fresh their mind .

I want to give my own example in that case when i was a student in primary school i learn too much in sports .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address both questions in a basic way: you say that children should play as well as study, and you mention physical activity and your own experience of learning through sports. However, the response only minimally develops the argument. The claim that play is “too much crucial” is not explained in detail, and the example about becoming “a good player in future” does not fully show how play benefits children’s learning or classroom development. Your view on whether schools focus too much on formal learning is also not stated clearly. The response is 102 words below the required minimum, which leaves little space to explain and support the ideas. Develop a clear position and add specific reasons and examples for both parts of the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence from your opinion, to reasons about physical activity, and then to a personal example. This gives the reader some sense of the topic’s progression. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and several points run together without explanation. The opening statement about what “most of the individuals believe” is not clearly connected to your own position. Linking is also limited: “because” and “and” carry much of the relationship between ideas, while the sentence beginning “Such a child” is difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for your position, supporting reasons, and example, and make the connection between each point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “sports,” and “primary school,” so the topic is generally identifiable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “child,” “learn,” and “play” appearing frequently. Several spelling and word-choice errors make the message less clear, such as “childern,” “paly,” “intrest,” and “gto fresh their mind.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “too much crucial” and “learn too much in sports.” Build a wider set of accurate expressions for discussing education and child development, and check spelling and collocations carefully. More precise wording would help you explain the benefits of play rather than relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, for example, “because in a primary school the age of student is almost about 5years to 10 years.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but the range remains limited and errors are frequent. Problems with articles, plurals, agreement, and verb forms occur in phrases such as “a children learn,” “if he have,” and “i learn.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, making some ideas hard to follow. Practise forming accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using clauses such as “because” and “when.” Check subject–verb agreement, past-tense forms in your personal example, and capitalisation at the start of sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.