Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

School is the place which shape a child into an efficient and respectable citizen. Carving a person's character requires continous learning and schools holds a significant position in educating young minds. This can involve both formal and informal learning. I tend to agree on the arguement which people present about the focus of schools towards formal learning. The trend of this type of education is only because of the approach being taken forward by those teachers and mentors who are of old school of thought. They just try to pour complete knowledge of the world in an immature brain.

Children who are in the primary school classroom are in their stage of development. New thoughts, ideas and their body is developing. Formal learning and mugging up information can curtail their growth, both in mental and physical manner. Educating childrens in a playful way can develop some dexterities and make them remember many things. Their brain is developing in a manner that they learn things from their practical experience not by reading something in a book.

For instance if someone wants to make a child learn about Newton's third law of motion which states that: "To every action there is always equal and opposite reaction". He can learn this law by continously revising it but he will end up in understanding nothing regarding its practical application. On the other hand if a child observes the striking of a ball to the ground and being bounced back, then he can understand the practical meaning of this law of motion.

For the development of a child's physical strength, outdoor games play an important role. Cricket, football, racing develops their muscles and make them active otherwise they will be lethargic and can become lazy. This laziness is also harmful for their brain and mental health. If schools only focus on formal learning and ignore the importance of physical activity our society will end up in producing inefficient citizens.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you explain why play and physical activity matter. The Newton’s-law example effectively contrasts memorising a definition with learning through observation, while the final paragraph addresses the value of outdoor games. This covers both questions and supports your main view. To make the response more fully developed, explain more precisely what a balanced classroom might look like—for example, how teachers could combine short formal lessons with guided play. The claim that traditional teachers try to “pour complete knowledge” into children is relevant, but broad; qualifying it or supporting it with a specific example would make the argument more convincing and nuanced.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces your view, develops the effects of formal learning, gives a practical example, and then considers physical activity. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and transitions such as “For instance” and “On the other hand” guide the reader through the Newton’s-law comparison. However, some links between ideas are abrupt or unclear. The opening moves from character development to teachers’ attitudes without fully explaining the connection, and the final paragraph shifts from outdoor games to mental health and society in quick succession. Use clearer topic sentences and add brief explanations showing how each point supports your argument. This would make the progression more consistently smooth and the connections less dependent on basic linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss education and child development, including “practical experience,” “physical strength,” and “mental health.” Some less common expressions are attempted, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “efficient citizen,” “mugging up information,” and “dexterities.” There are also spelling errors, including “continous,” “arguement,” and “continously,” which reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim for familiar, accurate collocations rather than ambitious wording that does not fit the context, and proofread spelling. For example, “develop skills” is more natural here than “develop some dexterities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including relative clauses and conditional sentences, as in “if schools only focus on formal learning…” This gives the response some variety, and the main meaning is generally clear. However, some errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction remain. For example, “School is the place which shape” needs subject–verb agreement, and “schools holds” also has an agreement error. “New thoughts, ideas and their body is developing” combines a plural subject with a singular verb and is awkwardly structured. Review agreement and sentence boundaries, and check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied structures easier to follow.

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