Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued by some people that primary educational systems emphasise too much on formal learning. I largely agree with this statement as in this modern era shools teach students with strict discipline where students behave less like humans and more like robots. It is quite necessary for children to have a proper balance between education and participating in outdoor activities, such as football, cricket and basketball for their growth.

Educational systems provide a whole year schedule in advance related to exams, monthly tests and practicals. They are strict regarding their policies when it comes to wearing a proper uniform and they do not compromise on it. Teachers in such schools are asked to follow the said syllabus and they are informed that they should not deviate from it. These things pile up as an additional burden for the students.

Students are given less opportunities to actively participate in physical activities and co-curricular competitions. However, these activities expose students to an environment outside of the classroom where they could apply some of class-learned knowledge, for example teamwork. Sport enhances a students' physical health and builds character as well.

Students should be provided with proper education with good exposure to an activity thry have interest in and they should be supported for their decisions as this will boost their confidence.

In conclusion, I absolutely agree that schools too much focused on structured learning and they do not promote phyiscal activities which will benefit the student. With a proper balance between classroom education and outdoor activities, a student will be able to grow in both directions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you largely agree that primary schools overemphasise formal learning, and you explain why play and physical activity matter. The discussion of strict schedules, syllabus requirements, teamwork and health is relevant, and the conclusion returns to your view. You also address both questions, including the importance of activities children enjoy. However, the second question is less fully developed: the response focuses mainly on outdoor sport, with little explanation of how play can be incorporated into classroom learning or how it supports learning. Some claims, such as students behaving “more like robots,” would be stronger with a specific example or explanation. More balanced development of these points would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, moving from your position to reasons and then a conclusion. Each body paragraph has a recognisable focus, and linking expressions such as “However” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. This gives the response a coherent progression. Some connections between ideas are less clear, though: the paragraph about uniforms and syllabus rules does not fully explain how these examples demonstrate excessive formal learning. The paragraph beginning “Students should be provided…” introduces a useful point about choice and confidence, but it is brief and feels somewhat detached from the preceding discussion. Develop the links between examples and your main claim, and use transitions that show the relationship between ideas rather than simply marking a new point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “co-curricular competitions,” “teamwork,” and “boost their confidence.” These choices communicate your main ideas, and some topic-specific language helps the response feel relevant. There are also several inaccurate or awkward choices that limit precision, such as “emphasise too much on,” “a whole year schedule,” and “a students’ physical health.” Spelling slips, including “shools,” “thry,” and “phyiscal,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, “place too much emphasis on formal learning” and “an annual schedule” would express your ideas more idiomatically.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “With a proper balance… a student will be able to grow” and a relative clause in “activities… where they could apply…” Most sentences are understandable, and errors rarely prevent the reader from following your argument. Some grammatical problems remain, however. In “schools too much focused,” the verb phrase is incomplete; “schools are too focused” would be correct. “Students are given less opportunities” needs plural agreement (“fewer opportunities”), while “a students’ physical health” has an incorrect article and possessive form. The sentence beginning “Students should be provided…” also has an unclear structure. Review agreement, articles and sentence construction, while continuing to use varied clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.