Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays schools of all cities are provide to students formal learning in the classroom but some people argue that primary schools to much concentrate on formal learning.I strongly agree with this opinion if children will get proper guidence in the class room absolutely children will be learn in the primary school classroom.

Today's generation mostly formal leraning will running in all the class rooms of primary school in all cities in the world because many students wants to will get proper guidence from teacher in the class room and children would like to if they want anything they will be get proper rules of primary school.For instance when im in 5th standard my school have own rules if i would like to anything they will give me proper rules and good guidence.As a result students should focus on practical skills it hel them develop useful skills.

Secondly,formal learning is most important for primary school studnets if they will not focus on learning at the end they dont know how to learn student should do follow the rules of class and take guidence from teachers students should work hard in the class.For example one ministery of education he checks all primary schools and see mostly students don't have skills this type of childrens should grow knowledge and skills.ASs result if students will grow skills and knowledge the have more option for future the should get job opportunity.

In conclusion, i strongly belive that practical skills is essential for students because it helps them develop useful skills and improve their future job prospects

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position—“I strongly agree”—and refer to formal learning, practical skills, and children’s future prospects. However, the response only minimally answers the two questions. It does not clearly explain why primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the importance of play in the classroom is not discussed at all. The examples about school rules and an education minister checking schools do not clearly support the argument, while the conclusion shifts to practical skills without resolving the role of play. To strengthen the response, address both questions directly: explain what children gain from play, compare this with formal instruction, and develop relevant examples that support your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “Today’s generation” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. These divisions give the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear relationships, as in “students wants to will get proper guidance” and “they will be get proper rules.” The examples do not consistently connect to the claims, and the conclusion introduces practical skills rather than drawing together the discussion of formal learning and play. Use one clear main idea per paragraph, then explain and illustrate it. More precise linking and referencing would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to education, including “formal learning,” “practical skills,” “guidance,” “knowledge,” and “job prospects.” This gives the response a basic topic-related range. However, vocabulary is repetitive and often imprecise, which sometimes strains understanding. “Proper rules” does not clearly express the intended idea, and “students should focus on practical skills” is not developed with specific examples. There are also frequent spelling and word-form errors, such as “guidence,” “leraning,” “studnets,” and “childrens.” Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing play and learning, and check spelling carefully. Choosing precise words will help make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and the response includes basic sequencing expressions such as “For instance,” “As a result,” and “In conclusion.” However, the range of structures is limited, and errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “schools … are provide” and “children will be learn” use incorrect verb forms, while “many students wants” has a subject–verb agreement error. Several sentences combine clauses without clear grammatical control, making the intended meaning difficult to follow. Practise forming accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses using patterns such as “Although…, …” or “Play is important because…”. Check each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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