Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that the education provided in the primary schools contains less activities for student forcing them to study alot, the argument is valid and I personally think that nowadays primary schools enforce huge amount of burden on students by giving them a lot of academic tasks which can be stressful for students.

Primary school is considered to be the start of academic career for any student, most of the students are not willing to attend classes becauses they are not used to it, this can take some time to set out their routine and schedule according to the time table. If a primary school enforces alot of pressure on students by giving them alot of tasks and not letting them spend some time playing or having fun activities, this can have a negative impact on a students mental health and their academic performance as well.

For a children to grow and learn at the same time, the institution needs to provide such an environment to students where they can enjoy their studies and play at the same time, for instance, if primary students are enforced to learn the the name of animals using simple text book and paper, they will not perform good, but in contrast, if they are provided with the animal toys and then they are asked about a certain animal, they will be able to provide details about the animal.

In my opinion, as formal learning is important but learning should be equalized with fun activities as well so that a student can learn new things while enjoying different games, this can help them enjoy their studies while not stressing out.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal study, and you also explain that play should accompany learning. The discussion is relevant to both questions, particularly where you connect excessive tasks with children’s mental health and academic performance. The animal-toy example usefully illustrates how play can support learning. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that pupils are “not willing to attend classes” because they are unused to school is not developed, and the conclusion largely repeats your view instead of drawing together the reasons. To strengthen the response, explain more specifically how play benefits children’s development and give a fuller account of how schools can balance it with formal learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces your view, gives reasons, provides an example, and ends with a conclusion. Paragraphs generally have clear purposes, and links such as “for instance” and “in contrast” help readers follow the example. However, progression within some paragraphs is less controlled. The second paragraph moves from children’s adjustment to school to pressure and its effects without fully explaining the connection. Some linking is also repetitive, especially the repeated use of “a lot” and “at the same time,” while the long opening sentence joins several ideas together. Make each paragraph develop one main point in a clearer sequence, and use referencing and transitions more selectively to show how each idea follows from the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “academic performance,” “mental health,” “formal learning,” and “environment.” The example about animal toys also shows an attempt to describe classroom learning concretely. However, word choice and collocation are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive, which limits precision. Phrases such as “enforces huge amount of burden,” “perform good,” and “equalized with fun activities” are not natural in this context. “Alot” is also repeatedly used and is incorrectly written as one word. Aim for more precise expressions and check common word partnerships; this will help you express your ideas more naturally without changing their meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “If a primary school enforces… this can have a negative impact” and a contrast between two teaching approaches. These structures help communicate relationships between ideas, and the overall meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors nevertheless occur in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation. For example, the opening sentence is a comma splice, “For a children to grow” has an incorrect article and plural form, and “a students mental health” needs a possessive form. The phrase “learn the the name” also contains a repeated article. Review sentence boundaries and check articles, plurals, and possessives when editing; greater accuracy in these areas would make your complex sentences clearer.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.