Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Many people believe that higher secondary schools concern only on formal learning. I agree with this statement and i think it is essential for the children to do some physical activity as well as study in the primary school classsroom to stay mentally and physically fit.

On one hand, formal learning plays a vital role in early ages of children because at this stage, the adaptability rate of seeking knowlege, learning new languages and tackling the problem much faster then others. For example, research shows that teenager who sets thier life goal in young ages and particulary puts efforts

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response gives a clear position—“I agree”—and recognises both formal learning and physical activity, so it is relevant to the question. However, it does not adequately answer either part: it does not explain whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, nor develop why play is important in the classroom. The point about children’s ability to learn at an early age is only briefly introduced, and the example about teenagers setting life goals is unfinished. The response also falls substantially short of the required 250 words, leaving the argument incomplete. To improve, address both questions directly, explain each reason, and support the points with complete, relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening paragraph states a position, and the next begins with “On one hand” to introduce a supporting point. This gives the reader some indication of the intended direction. However, the response ends before the argument develops, and there is no contrasting point, conclusion, or clear progression from the initial claim to a supported answer. The connector “On one hand” also signals a comparison that is never completed. The example is left unfinished, which disrupts the flow. Use separate paragraphs for your position, reasons and examples, and conclusion; make sure each paragraph develops one complete idea and that linking phrases accurately reflect the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical activity,” “adaptability,” and “tackling the problem.” These choices show an effort to discuss education and children’s development rather than relying entirely on very basic wording. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, such as “knowlege,” “thier,” and “particulary.” Some expressions are also unnatural or unclear, including “adaptability rate of seeking knowledge” and “sets their life goal in young ages.” The limited development means there is little evidence of a broader range across the essay. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling; for example, describe children’s “ability to absorb knowledge” and “set goals at a young age.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response includes both simple statements and an attempt at a more complex explanation, particularly in “because at this stage…,” showing some effort to vary sentence structure. The opening also communicates a position clearly. However, grammatical control is inconsistent: “higher secondary schools concern only on formal learning” has an awkward sentence pattern, and the clause beginning “because at this stage” is not completed as a well-formed sentence. There are also errors in capitalization and agreement, as in “i think,” and the final example trails off without a complete clause. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles, prepositions and punctuation. Completing each sentence before adding another idea will make your meaning easier to follow.

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