Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

As far as this topic is concerned, I would like to say that that the impact of Primary schools has always been debatable and has now more controversial, with many people cliaming that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, while other believe that prmiary schools does'nt focus too much on formal learning. The substanial influence of this trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. From my prespective, primary schools focus on formal learning as well as they should think about students physcial activities. This essay will further eloborate on my views regarding primary schools and will lead to a logical conclusion.

Analyzing the statement further, the primary reason behind, it is because of people's think that studies are most important for students. Categorically discussing, it cannot be ignored because students physical activities are also essential. For Example, Schools should have a playgrounds in which students played. This is a best thing for student physical health. Therefore schools must have playgrounds.

Moving further, it is pertinent to mention that schools should not force childerns to focus too much on fromal learning. They might have lack interest towards studies. It is imperative to consider that they may feel burden and doesn't pick any topic easily, From my prespective students physcial activities and learning both are important.

To Encapsulate, I would Conclude that studies are important for students but we don't force our childern towards learning. because they may feel lack intereset in studies. on the other hand, students physcial activities are also important so schools should focus on playgrounds. In this way studnets could easily play there and they feel fresh moreover, in this way they have more interest in their studies. Neverthless, i believe that students studies and physcial activities both are important.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions by arguing that formal study matters but should be balanced with physical activity and play. The references to playgrounds and children losing interest or feeling burdened are relevant, and your position is broadly supportive of a balance. However, the response only partially develops this position: it does not clearly explain how play should be incorporated into classroom learning, and the example of a playground is asserted rather than illustrated or explained. The opening also spends considerable space describing a debate without establishing your precise degree of agreement. State your view directly, then develop each reason with a specific example and explain how it answers the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. Some linking expressions, such as “Moving further” and “To Encapsulate,” signal transitions. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first body paragraph moves from what people think about studies to playgrounds without explaining the connection, while the next repeats that both activity and learning matter. Several transitions sound formulaic, and the conclusion restates earlier points rather than drawing them together. Improve cohesion by giving each paragraph one clear purpose, arranging its ideas in a logical sequence, and using pronouns and linking phrases only where their relationships are clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-related and formal vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “impact,” and “controversy,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, sometimes making meaning less clear. Examples include “the impact of Primary schools,” “people's think,” and “students physical activities”; “playgrounds” is also repeated instead of using a wider range of relevant terms. Spelling errors such as “cliaming,” “substanial,” and “prespective” are noticeable. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing education and play, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer sentences, including a contrast introduced by “while” and a conditional idea about children losing interest. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. For example, “other believe that prmiary schools does'nt focus” has subject–verb agreement and verb-form problems, while “They might have lack interest” is not grammatically formed. There are also recurring errors with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, as in “Schools should have a playgrounds” and the comma splice before “From my prespective.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, then proofread agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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